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But for now, there were hairdryers, curlers, straighteners, and goodness knows what to get back into action. As well as a bride with a very large bee in her bonnet.
Ellie wasn’t quite sure how she was going to tell her, and felt her throat tighten and her mouth dry. Maybe she should go and put on the full metal suit of armour from the Edward I Chamber first …
‘Chelsea, I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to move you and the girls. The electrics are burnt out at the trip switch and I need to get a qualified electrician to check and repair that before I can turn anything back on for this section of rooms.’
There was a second of silence and a glare that would melt steel.
‘Well, that is just ridiculous … You are joking!’
‘I have the rooms ready for you right now.’ Deana was already there, giving the guest rooms on the corridor above them a check over right now. Ellie had made a plea for help, phoning after seeing the damaged fuse box. The rooms could have a quick refresh during the wedding service, ready for the wedding guests who should be in them for this evening. Needs must.
‘I knew I shouldn’t have trusted this tinpot of an organisation with the most important day of my life,’ Chelsea shrieked. ‘Can’t you just bring in a generator or something? I’m not moving now.’
‘That might work, but not in the timescale we have. By the time we could possibly get one hired and set up, you’d need to be ready and at the chapel. The only option is to move upstairs. I have staff ready to help you transfer everything across.’
‘Humph! Well, I shall be letting my contacts at the Daily Star know about this shoddy hole of a place. And … I have an old school friend that works at BRIDES magazine.’
Ellie could see all her dreams of the castle becoming one of the best wedding venues in the area tumbling before her very eyes. Bad press would be disastrous. She swallowed the knot in her throat, and was determined not to shed the tear that was forming in her eye. ‘Right, Chelsea, we still have an hour and a half before you need to be at the chapel. We can move everything up in the next five minutes. What are the most important things you need to move across with you? We’ll get right on with it.’ Ellie tried her best to sound professional, though her heart was pounding.
‘I cannot believe this. So, I’m going to have to move across to another poxy room in my dressing gown on my wedding day. It’s shambolic.’
‘Come on Chelsea, let’s just let them move our things. I don’t think we have a lot of time or a lot of choice.’ The head bridesmaid tried to coax her friend to get going and get on with it.
Just then the bride’s mother waltzed in. Ellie felt her heart sink even further.
‘Chelsea sweetie, what’s going on here? Have you been crying?!’ She then fixed a cold stare on Ellie, her voice turning to stone, ‘What’s happened now?’
‘It’s a problem with the electrics,’ Ellie felt her voice quaver, ‘I’m so sorry.’
‘Sorry isn’t good enough though, is it? You’ve made my poor daughter cry on her wedding day. We won’t be forgetting this … will we, Chelsea sweetheart. In fact, we might just have to sue … There, there.’ Her voice went back to a simpering tone. In her bold black-and-white mother-of-the-bride two-piece there was a definite look of Cruella de Vil about her.
Deana marched into the room.
‘Okay folks, apologies. But let’s just sort this out as quickly as we can, and get you ladies and everything you need, to the other rooms as swiftly as possible. They are all ready for you. Malcolm and Derek are here to take up what you need. It’s just one flight up the stairwell. The day can go ahead exactly as planned, and we have an electrician on his way at this very moment. So bridesmaids, your rooms should all be ready again for this evening. And Chelsea, be assured that the bridal suite for you and Kelvin is unaffected.’ Deana gave a calm, confident, we’re-in-control look around the occupants of the room.
Ellie managed a smile, but still felt a bit shaky. She was so grateful for Deana’s calming influence at times like this. She realized she had much to learn about dealing with a crisis. ‘Thank you, Deana.’
Ten o’clock. Crisis resolved, and less than an hour until the moment of truth when the ‘unicorn’ was due to make its appearance, ready to transport the bride down the castle driveway for the start of her big day. The weather was holding fine at the moment, though there was a forecast of sunshine and showers. Ellie had moved the girls, dresses and the equipment, worthy of a whole hairdressing salon, up and into their new rooms with the help of Deana, Derek and Malcolm. So, the bridal hairdo was all finished, and teased into perfect place. Please, please, please let it stay dry, at least until Bridezilla got back into shelter of the castle.
8 (#ulink_e5f16e91-7975-55ba-b723-44a1ecc4433f)
Ellie was stood anxiously on the castle steps. Once the ‘unicorn’ was in sight she was to go straight up to the bridal suite and fetch Bridezilla to be ready on the castle steps for collection. The unicorn entourage were to do a loop, out through the side entrance of the castle, up the hill and through the little hamlet. Ellie had even primed some of their neighbours to stand at the roadside ready to wave and cheer, as Bridezilla had wanted a Royal Wedding feel. They would then come back in to the estate through the very impressive wrought-iron gates of the main castle entrance, down the tree-lined avenue, to meet with her bridesmaids who were to be dutifully waiting on the same steps for her, along with her father. They would then all troop on up into the castle and to the chapel, where hopefully the groom would be ready, or else.
Crickey, there were so many things might go wrong with this part of the day’s events. Tractors blocking the road, animal antics, always unpredictable, Malcom and Derek – enough said. At least Lauren was in control of the action now, and a certain ex-jockey racing stable owner, apparently, which had put Ellie’s mind more at ease. She still hadn’t seen the final plan in action herself, but was assured it would be a hit with the bride.
Ooh look, there was something happening away in the distance. A rattle of carriage wheels maybe? Ellie wasn’t sure whether to be excited or distraught.
There was a small procession coming down the tree-lined driveway. Leading the way was a rather magnificent white horse, and as it neared, Ellie could see it had a very impressive horned head – certainly not the same papier-mache article that Malcolm had created. Leading the horse was a rather handsome chap that Ellie had once met in the village stores – ah, so that was Anthony from the racing stables then. He was in full riding attire, tight beige jodhpurs, smart navy velvet riding jacket, over a crisp, white shirt, and stylish cravat. In fact, he looked rather like a character out of a Jilly Cooper novel – wow. He flashed Ellie a broad smile as they approached the castle steps.
A small gathering had followed them along the driveway, including Derek and Malcolm who were walking beside a rather quaint wooden carriage, and guess who was pulling it – Patrick the Pony. Lauren, was masterfully driving the little carriage, holding the reins confidently, with a unicorn-horn free Patrick, who at this point anyhow, seemed to be behaving himself.
‘Good morning,’ greeted Anthony in a lovely, warm Irish accent. If that voice, on top of the white-stallion unicorn and the Colin Firth-style riding breeches, didn’t have the bride as putty in his hands, Ellie wasn’t sure what would. She began to relax, just a little.
‘Morning. Thank you so much for helping out at late notice. Right then, I’ll just go and fetch the bride.’ And off she dashed, feeling a little like Cinderella herself.
Across the courtyard she scampered, and up the stone stairwell to the second-floor suite of rooms that the bride and her bridesmaids were now in. She knocked, with her fingers on the other hand crossed behind her back. Here goes.
‘Who is it?’ came a bark from the far side of the door.
‘Just Ellie, we’re ready when you are Br …’ Ooh, she nearly let it slip, ‘Chelsea.’ She opened the door to be greeted by hair tongs and straighteners, nail varnish bottles open at precarious angles on the furniture, handbags, jewellery, discarded underwear, empty bottles of prosecco, half-filled flutes, bouquets in rainbow-coloured hues, a heavy scent of ladies perfume, and twelve very glamorous, if slightly (she was being kind) over-the-top, ladies, plus a ragged-looking hairdresser.
Chelsea was stood in the middle of all this in her silk and taffeta dress, which seemed to take up the whole room by itself.
‘Just need my tiara fixed on. Amy, are you ready with it? I need it now,’ she shrieked across the room. The poor hairdresser flitted to her side, though it was hard to reach the bride’s head now with the meringue-gown creation in full expanse. Two bridesmaids and Bridezilla’s mother had to hold it down like it was some kind of caged animal, to let the hairdresser get to Chelsea and secure the tiara with its short, very sparkly train in place. The bride’s platinum blonde curls had been corkscrewed and then partly pinned-up in a sweeping mid-section on the top of her head. Ellie noted that her make-up was extremely heavy, in a trowelled-on shade of orange – if it rained out there now, they were in big trouble.
‘Have you got your something blue on, Chels?’ one of the bridesmaids asked.
Bridezilla flashed a lacy blue garter in response.
‘Oh, and don’t forget your clutch bag and bouquet.’
‘Got it. Are you all ready, my girls? I need you on the steps to see me off, and then you have to wait there while I do the tour. I hope that unicorn’s ready?’ She flashed Ellie a don’t-you-dare-get-anything-else-wrong-here stare.
Ellie felt her stomach shudder, but held her nerve. ‘Of course. It looks stunning. Just perfect.’
‘Good.’
Ellie and the maid of honour lifted the expanse of skirt to help Bridezilla get out of the room and down the stairs, whilst she was muttering, ‘Should have got this staircase widened, knowing there were going to be brides in their wedding dresses coming down here.’
Oh yes, knock down a thirteenth-century stairwell to accommodate a multi-meringue layered dress. Good idea. Ellie bit her tongue.
There was a clatter of stilettos on stone, it sounded like they were storming the castle, as they trooped carefully down and out across the courtyard. Joe was under strict instructions, keeping a careful eye on the drawing room holding area where the other guests were being plied with champagne, to make sure that neither the groom nor any of the other guests ventured out and caught sight of them. Derek was also acting as sentinel on the doors out to the courtyard.
Anthony, and the white-stallion unicorn (well, it was a gelding but no one was going to say anything!) were waiting patiently at the bottom of the steps. By some miracle Patrick, Lauren and the cart, were positioned in the right place just behind them – after doing two loops round the block to keep the restless pony happy.
‘Oooh.’ Bridezilla seemed quite overwhelmed. Ellie prayed this was in a positive way, but couldn’t be quite sure.
‘So, do I ride this gorgeous creature?’ Bridezilla looked teasingly across at Anthony.
‘If only,’ he replied smoothly. ‘But, my lovely lady, a riding hat would be essential, and that would so spoil your beautiful hairdo. So, your carriage awaits.’
God, he was a charmer. Ellie held back a wry grin.
He gestured to Patrick and his cart. Since Ellie had nipped upstairs, the carriage had had a quick makeover and been gorgeously decorated by Wendy, with floral twists of pink and orange roses, sprigs of delicate white gypsophila and greenery. There was a rainbow-coloured throw in place on the seat, and Patrick himself now sported a pink rose on his head collar, which thankfully he hadn’t seemed to have noticed.
Was this going to be the moment Bridezilla flipped? There seemed to be a universal holding of breath.
‘Oh, how lovely, and isn’t the donkey sweet.’
Thank goodness Patrick didn’t speak human, or he might have flipped – donkey indeed.
Anthony handed the lead rein of the white horse across to Malcolm, whilst he gestured for the bride to take his arm, ushered her to the carriage, and yes actually made a step out of his two hands, fingers locked together, for her to climb up to the seat. Bridezilla had a stunned and rather mesmerized look on her face, as she gazed back down at him. Ellie hoped she wasn’t now regretting her choice of groom.
The official photographer was snapping away in a photo frenzy.
‘And so, let the wonders of the day begin!’ Anthony announced.
The bridesmaids cheered from the castle steps as he took up the lead rein of the unicorn-stallion who began to walk steadily beside him ready for their village tour, Patrick plodding dutifully behind. Perhaps he was in awe of the unicorn too! What a marvellous pair they both made.
And, Ellie spotted, as the carriage set off, Bridezilla was grinning from ear to ear. Ellie nearly jumped up and made a huge air punch, but reined it in. Result! Thank you, Lauren, and thank you, Anthony.
When they returned twenty minutes later, Bridezilla was still smiling and waving regally (she’d obviously mastered the Queen’s technique on the way round). The two equines, Lauren as carriage driver, the rather gorgeous Anthony, and a beaming Malcolm (who was taking all the credit of course) brought her back to a halt outside the castle steps once more. The only problem was when Patrick lifted his tail, farted and did a superb pile of pony poo right in Bridezilla’s eyeline, just as she was about to dismount. Her face dropped for a nanosecond, but Anthony saved the day, reaching his hand out at just the right moment to help her down and take her mind right off what had just happened. Lauren was giggling, and Malcolm was cursing Patrick between gritted teeth for taking the shine off the whole event at the last moment.
Anthony gave the bride a very gentlemanly kiss on the back of her hand, and passed her back to the gaggle of bridesmaids, who Ellie was certain were swooning on the steps. She gave him a grin and a thumbs up as she mouthed, ‘Thank you, so much.’ Then she was ready to take over for round two; the safe delivery of Bridezilla to the chapel and her groom.
The bride’s father was here on the steps now too, which had initiated a quick exit from Bridezilla’s mother. Apparently, the maid of honour filled Ellie in briefly, there had been a very bitter divorce some years back. Ellie might need to have a quiet word about the seating plan for top table then, and a quick rearrangement, or that might prove interesting. Why on earth hadn’t they thought to tell her beforehand?
Right, all she had to do was get the bride, her father, and her bridesmaids in the right line-up and to the chapel. She checked her watch, 11:27 a.m., perfect. They had a couple of minutes’ walk across the courtyard and up the steps into the main castle building. Then a further short walk along the corridor to the chapel, and that was it.
She’d give the bridal entourage a minute or two to gather themselves for now, and be a fashionable few minutes late … without panicking the groom. Mind you, if he had any sense at all, he’d have run a mile by now.
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