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“I don’t understand why he doesn’t let me perform at the bar. I am a great singer, you guys know that. I won’t embarrass you.”
“He thinks that if you perform here, the guys are going to chase you and you are too innocent to handle these sharks.”
“You guys are being ridiculous. I am twenty-three years old, gosh. I’m not a little girl, I know how to take care of myself. When will all of you realize that?”
“I am aware that you are a woman, but Danny looks at you and Jo as his little sisters. That’s sacred for a guy.”
“That’s stupid and you know it. Who are you replacing Snash with?
“I don’t know Julie, I have no idea.”
I pull away from him, foaming with anger. How can they be such assholes? Something needs to be done about it.
I stay at the bar helping Justin, the bartender, getting the drinks in order, until Rafe comes to me an hour later, seemingly defeated.
"You know when Danny finds out that I’ve let you perform, he's going to finish me off, right?”
"You didn't get anyone?”
"No, Julie. Nobody. Can you do it?”
I scream and jump on top of him.
"Wow! Absolutely!”
He drops me on the floor and shakes his head, rustling out an “I’m fucked”. Afterwards, he goes to the office while I dance away my victory and call Jo and George, asking that they bring me suitable clothes, make-up and their moral support.
Chapter three
Julie
While I wait for my two fairy godmothers, I go to the stage to talk to the boys of the band to find out what is the setlist of the night.
I have good musical memory and zero difficulty reciting lyrics. Besides, I've sung with them countless times during rehearsal—and away from Danny, of course.
"Is our star ready to shine?” Alan, the guitarist, asks. He's the hottest of the three musicians. Tall, very straight brown hair and full of tattoos. I often joke with Jo that he's the embodiment of Kellan Kyle, the good guy from S.C. Stephens' book, Intenso Demais.
"Yesss!” I'm very nervous, but I want to do my best. I want this to be the first of many performances.
"You know that when Danny finds out...”
"Leave Danny out of it. Saturday night people come here because they want to dance to the sound of The Band. We can't let our fans down — I speak with a smile on my face, showing a safety I don't feel while trying to wrap him up.
"That's fine with me," he says, laughing. "It's going to be wonderful to play with you for real. We had this setlist for today, but I think we can make some changes to show a little more of your personality on stage —he says, extending a sheet with the playlist.”
I look through the titles, approving the choices, and thinking about three or four more songs I'd like to include.
"Have you got a pen there? I'd like to add some songs, can I?”
“Of course! You can add and remove whatever you want.”
I sit on the edge of the stage to write, whilst acknowledging this is a wonderful opportunity that I will not pass up.
This is going to be the first of many nights leading The Band, I promise myself.
***
"Bestiiiiie, we're here!” Jo screams, pulling me out of my daydreams.
"Did you bring something nice to wear?” I ask excitedly, already heading to the makeshift dressing room.
The place only has one dressing room and, as it was an exclusively male band, they shared the space. So, I'm going to get ready in Danny's office, since no one's going to be using it.
George hands me three bags full of clothes from a designer store in the mall, which I'm sure I've never been in.
"What is this, George?” I ask, rummaging through the bags. "Didn't you get me some clothes?”
"Baby girl, what clothes of yours did you want me to bring? Your running shoes? Or those yoga pants you‘re always in? Or jeans and a T-shirt? Of course, Jo and I had to go to the mall and do some shopping on your behalf. And we brought some IN-CRE-DI-BLE stuff!”, he speaks excitedly, clapping.
"Go on, friend, try it all on, and we'll pick and choose the outfits for you to perform in!” Jo keeps pushing me while I stare at them stunned.
“But...but...”
“Don’t “but” me, baby girl! You gotta hurry up, we’re running out of time here.”
I remain looking from one to the other with my mouth wide open for five seconds. I got it, I’m not the most fashionable one around. I live on my sneakers and leggings or the yoga pants, but I have a little black dress at the bottom of the draw that would be perfect for tonight.
I break free from the shock, grab the clothes they give me - a black miniskirt, made of sequins and a white blouse - and I start dressing.
“This skirt is way too short.”
“No way, my dear. You have to show off your incredible legs.”
“The blouse is tight...”
“The front view has to stand out! How do you want to shine on stage, if you’re not dressed for the occasion?”
I look at myself in the mirror and I like it, but I feel awkward. The miniskirt is really short, but is not too tight and it really seems good for a night show. By adding the blouse, the look is still simple which pleases me a lot.
“Now, put on those shoes!”
I grab the shoes that Jo pushes on to my hands. They are black with very high heels and red soles.
Louboutin, I recognize the brand.
“My God, you must have paid a fortune for this!” I complain, upset that my friends went on to spend so much money on me.
“There would be no match without those shoes. You gotta put them on”, George lets out with a laugh.
While I put the shoes on, they place bracelets and hang a pair of black long earrings on me. The one thing I am thankful about is that my waxing is up to date, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to wear that short skirt with hairy legs.
Not yet pleased with dressing and adorning me up as if I were a real-life Barbie version, my friends put me in the chair that sits in the corner of the room, and while Jo opens a giant makeup briefcase, George begins to loosen my ponytail, studying my hair as if it were a scientific experiment.
"What are you doing?” George, holds my hair back.
"Julie, you have a gold mine in here and I don't know why you keep hiding it. I'm going to show you that we can play with that hair and make you look like ‘come and get me’.”
"Oh, my God...”
"Close your eyes and just take it, friend. It's going to be all right.”
With nothing to do, I sit in the chair and leave the two artists to work. I pray that I will be at least presentable and not look like a clown on the run from the circus.
Half an hour of suffering later, especially at the hands of George—who pulled me, shook, and burned my head countless times—I am allowed to stand up so they can "evaluate me." I feel like a prized horse.
I stand up looking like a giant, as I'm not used to such high shoes that add almost five inches to my sparse five feet.
The two of them are standing still and open-mouthed and I start getting stressed, imagining that I look ridiculous and that we won't have time to do anything different because it's already show time.
“What’s the matter, guys? Where’s the mirror? I wanna see!”
The three of us get startled by a knock on the door and George shouts “Come in!”, still stunned. Rafe comes in and starts talking:
“Julie, it’s almost...damn shit!
This stresses me up even more. I must look awful, because Rafe let out his third swearword of the day.
“What is it? Guys, get me a mirror!”
“Julie, is it you? My goodness, Danny was absolutely right. When he finds out that I allowed this... I am fucked” he says, more to himself than to me.
When George realizes that I am about to crumble in tears, feeling that my “pop diva” career failed before it took off, he takes me to the bathroom so that I can look at myself in the mirror.
I feel just like Cinderella must have felt when she saw the transformation the Fairy Godmother did on her for the ball.
As I look in the mirror, I feel my heart tightening hard. I see myself, for the first time, just like my mother. It’s as if I was seeing her own reflection on the mirror, looking at me, just as I recall from my childhood.
My blue eyes are huge, highlighted by the dark shadow and the eyeliner that Jo had applied.
In the mouth, a pale lipstick, with a slight gloss shine, turns my lips sensuous.
As for my hair, it doesn't even look like the one that is always tied because I think it's dull. I don't know what magic George did, but he left it with perfect waves, with volume and a "pop diva” look, just like we see it on magazine covers.
This is a turbocharged, adult version of the little girl Danny used to see. No wonder he never looked at me in any other way. Before, I seemed to be, at most, nineteen years old. Now I'm a real woman. Beautiful, sensual and adult.
"Did you like it, little girl? Say something!”
"George, I love it. I'd be crazy if I didn't like it. I had no idea I could look so beautiful.”
I leave the bathroom with a giant smile on my face and I run into Rafe, still bewildered.
"Rafe, is it time?”
“Twenty minutes. Are you sure about that? Danny's going to kill me and then kill the three of you.”
I decide to ignore his warning.
"Let Alan know we're going to start with Put your records on — I say, giving him what I hope will be my most sensuous look.
Chapter four
Julie
I leave Danny's office with my head held high and feeling powerful. It's amazing what a new outfit and perfect makeup can do for a woman's self-esteem.
Hey! You don't have to pull a face for me. I know very well that I should not feel safe and beautiful only after going through the hand of the Fairy Godmother ... or the Genie of the Lamp, since the responsibility for my transformation is George's? Well, regardless of who we are, it's very easy to forget our own worth. Especially when you like someone, and that someone doesn't give a damn about you. I promise myself that from today onwards I will have new rules of conduct established for myself and will do my best to comply with them:
Rule #1: love myself more than anyone else;
Rule #2: believe more in myself and value my beauty;
Rule #3: go after what I want and make my dreams come true.
And, feeling strong, safe and invincible, I begin to follow my new rules and take control of my own life and destiny. I give each of my friends a kiss and go to the side of the stage, waiting for my cue.
When they see me, the guys of the band seem surprised. I give a little smile and stand next to Alan, who holds my hand, trying to give me peace of mind.
“Is everything all right?”, he asks me when he feels my cold hand.
"Yes, I'm a little nervous, but fine. “Professional, Julie.” “Be professional“, I say to myself.
“Don’t worry, you look beautiful and everything is going to be just fine.” I asked Rafe to introduce us in a different manner - he can hardly finish the sentence as he announces on stage “Juliette & The Band”.
Wow! Now this band’s name sounds good. With my name upfront! I remain calm on the outside while inside I’m so happily dancing the Macarena away.
We step on to the stage together, waving to the audience. Alan makes a small announcement before we start.
“Good evening, everybody! It’s a pleasure to have you guys here.” The women scream like crazy. “The ones that always come to our shows must have found the call strange, but we want you to know that from today we have a wonderful new boost with Juliette coming to be part of the group. We hope you enjoy the show and have fun!”
He looks at me with a sensual smile on his lips. I smile back, feeling pretty awkward, and wave to the audience, while I place myself in front of the microphone.
The boys start playing the song I chose for the opening. I close my eyes and just shut the audience down. I feel the cold rising in my belly, but in a good way. The best part about singing songs I love is the fact that I get more involved, passing on all the excitement. I hear my cue and start, with a very soft and charming tone, singing the first verses of the song:
Three little birds, sat on my window
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet,
