скачать книгу бесплатно
The lights were on, but she still couldn’t see enough. She tried to get free, but he didn’t let her go.
“I know you’re scared. I know it’s real. It was the explosion, right? It’s a bitch to relive that. But you’re safe. You’re here on the ranch. I’m right here.”
Words that shouldn’t have comforted her, she thought, confused. Words he shouldn’t be saying. Still, his body was warm and solid and his arms felt secure enough to keep her from falling.
Gradually her breathing slowed, as did her heart rate.
He sat on her bed, holding her against him. One of his arms wrapped around her waist, as if anchoring her in place. With his free hand, he stroked her head, the side of her face and her arm, rubbing her like a cat. The contact should have been annoying, but it wasn’t. It made her feel safe.
She could feel the warmth of his chest against her cheek, the softness of his T-shirt. His heartbeat was steady and seemed to influence her own.
He drew back a little. “Lie down.”
Not knowing what else to do, she rolled away from him and stretched out under the covers. He moved behind her, pressing his body against hers, her back to his front, his arm around her waist. He found her hand and took it in his.
An intimate position, she thought. It should have been uncomfortable. It should have felt awkward. But all she could think was that he would protect her, no matter what.
“The dreams never go away,” he said, his voice rumbling in her ear. “They fade. You’ll go months without one, but then they’re back. Anything can trigger them.”
“Not comforting news.”
“It’s a fact, Izzy. They exist. They’ll always shake you. It’s not how you handle what comes in the night that’s important. It’s what you do the next morning. And the morning after that.”
“You read that somewhere?”
“I have some personal experience with nightmares.”
Somehow, that didn’t surprise her. “Want to talk about them?”
“No.”
“Typical guy.”
“That’s me.”
Her mouth curved into a smile. Then she remembered that he’d been a complete bastard and that she hated him so much that she was planning to learn how to beat the crap out of him. They shouldn’t be getting along.
But right now, with the heat from his body relaxing her and his arm around her like a shield, she couldn’t find it in herself to be angry anymore.
“How did you know I was having the dream?” she asked quietly. “Was I screaming?”
“Nothing that dramatic. I was checking the house before going to bed. You were restless.”
“You came into my room?”
“Yeah. Just like a stalker.”
“What about my right to privacy?”
“What about the pain you give me in my ass?”
That startled a laugh out of her. “I bug you?”
“I can’t describe how much.”
“Good.”
“Yeah. It’s good. Now go to sleep. I’ll stay right here.”
“The lights are on.”
“They won’t bother me.”
“Okay.” She closed her eyes and the fear returned. “It was the explosion. I was walking down an inside hallway. There wasn’t any warning. In the dream, I know it’s coming and I’m still caught off guard. Then I’m flying through the air. It’s so bright and loud. I can’t control what’s happening, I can’t scream or stop it. Then I’m falling into the fire and I wake up on fire.”
“No. You wake up safe. There’s no fire, Izzy.”
She turned toward him and stared intently at his face. Not that she could bring him into focus. “It feels like there’s fire.”
“I know.” He brushed her hair off her forehead. “If Aaron catches us like this, we’re going to have some explaining to do.”
The corners of her mouth twitched. “He’ll just be bitter because I got there first. He wants you.”
Nick winced. “Please don’t say that.”
“Can’t handle the pressure?”
“It’s late. Aren’t you getting tired? Don’t you want to close your eyes and go to sleep?”
It was late. “You can go. I don’t need you to stay.” The second he left, she would sit by the window because that would feel safer.
“Me? I’m not moving. I’m too comfortable.”
“Liar.”
“Not me. I always tell the truth. Ask anyone.”
She waited, but he didn’t move. Eventually, she put her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her. She was aware of his long, hard body next to hers, but that didn’t matter. Being safe was a whole lot more important than anything else.
“Go to sleep, Izzy. I’ll be right here. You won’t have any more bad dreams tonight.”
“Promise?”
“Yeah. I promise.”
IZZY WOKE to sunlight flooding her room. She stretched and rolled over, only to realize she was alone. Nick had left sometime in the night. Or maybe he’d waited until morning. Either way, he’d stayed with her until she’d relaxed enough to let go of the nightmare.
She got out of bed and crossed to the window. She was going home today. Back to live with Lexi, she supposed. To that window seat that had become her entire world. Back to waiting…for something that would never happen.
There was no miracle coming. No puff of magic that would make her see again. She either took the risk and had the surgery, or she had to learn to deal. Since getting out of the hospital, she’d been waiting for a gift from heaven.
“Get real,” she told herself. Heaven was busy with people a lot worse off than her. Nick was right. She had resources, a family, a life.
She showered and made her way to the barn. She had no idea what time it was, but didn’t bump into anyone else. She found the cupboard with the washing supplies and put everything on the bench next to it. She still had trouble deciding which bottle held the soap, then realized she could open them and figure it out by smell.
The barn was a little more daunting. She hit the light switch before entering, then tried to remember how far down she’d gone before.
“Jackson? Are you here, honey? Jackson?”
She heard a soft snort on her left and reached toward the sound. A horse dropped his head over the gate. She patted him.
“I have no idea who you are,” she said, “but you’re getting a bath. How does that sound?”
She led him outside and secured him to the post. Then she turned on the water and went to work.
Washing a horse was slow work to begin with. The animals were large and they had to be rinsed well. But doing everything by touch made the task that much longer. Izzy figured she got as much water on herself as on Jackson, but that was okay. She would get better with practice.
She’d just started rinsing the far side, when she heard someone say, “The breakfast bell rang ten minutes ago.”
She spun toward the sound and was rewarded with a yelp, followed by swearing. She turned the water off at the nozzle.
“Morning,” she said, trying not to grin. “Did I get you?”
“Yes,” Nick said through obviously clenched teeth. “Water’s cold.”
“I know. Sorry. You startled me.”
“Apparently. You coming in for breakfast?”
“As soon as I finish. Um, is this Jackson?”
“Uh-huh.”
She heard Nick brushing down his jeans. With luck, he was completely soaked.
“Okay. I’ll just be a couple of minutes.” She bit her lower lip.
Late yesterday afternoon, she’d been convinced she only wanted to go home. That there was nothing here on the ranch for her. Now she wasn’t so sure.
She wanted to stay. She wanted to try to…something. Adjust, maybe. But her Titan pride made it impossible to ask.
She stared at the shape that was Nick, not sure how to get her point across. “Nick, I…”
“Yeah. It’s fine. After breakfast, you can start on the other horses.”
“Okay.” She smiled. “Thanks.”
Then she turned on the hose and heard him yelp again.
“Dammit, Izzy. You’re going to make me regret having you around, aren’t you?”
She turned off the water and giggled. “Now why would you think that?”
CHAPTER FIVE
NICK STOOD in the kitchen and watched Izzy move through the living room. She walked deliberately, touching every piece of furniture as she made a full circuit. She completed the return trip in the opposite direction, then paused. A few seconds later, she walked into the center of the room and stopped. From there, she went first to the sofa, then back to the middle. She crossed to the window and returned to the center.
She was learning the room. By the time she was finished she would know where everything was and find it easily. In a couple of days she would be able to hurry through the house like everyone else.
Even as he watched her turn and pace and count, he was distracted by her long bare legs. Her shorts barely covered her butt and her tight T-shirt outlined her full breasts. Normally he would have been able to ignore her athletic body. Normally he could appreciate the show and move on. Normally he hadn’t spent a long, agonizing night lying next to a beautiful woman, her legs tangled with his, her head on his shoulder, her breasts nestling against his arm.
He told himself that the price was worth it. She’d proven her strength—not only in avoiding a crash and burn after her nightmare, but by being able to move on from their fight. He’d taunted her. She’d risen to the bait, but hadn’t gotten trapped in anger. She was strong and determined—someone he could admire. Now if only he could see her naked.
Stop it, he told himself. Izzy was a client, someone he was helping. He had no business thinking about kissing every inch of her, of touching her until she begged and then losing himself in her. It was unprofessional. It was sexist. And being hard all the time was damned unpleasant.
The point of all this was she hadn’t given up, which meant she was one step closer to having the surgery. There were more—
“You have some serious stalker tendencies,” she said, turning to face him. “It’s borderline creepy. You should go talk to someone about it.”
“I’ve been here ten minutes. Why did it take you so long to figure out you weren’t alone?”
She continued finding her way around the room. “My bat sonar isn’t fully installed just yet.”
“You need to work on that.”
“You need to get a life. Do you watch me in the shower?”
The image dropped into his brain and there was no way he could ignore it. “Do you want me to?”
She tilted her head slightly. Her long, dark, curly hair tumbled over her right shoulder. She walked toward him, stopping only inches away. A smile tugged at the corners of her mouth.
“You need a woman. Seriously. It’s bad enough that the blind girl can figure it out. That’s got to be embarrassing.”
It was, but he wouldn’t admit it to her. “I’m playing your game. That should make you happy.”
“Maybe. I take it you don’t have anyone you’re seeing right now. I’m guessing it’s a geographic thing. It’s hard to date when your life is in the middle of nowhere.”
“My work keeps my busy.”
“So you’re between relationships? Or are you the type who doesn’t get involved?”
Why were they talking about him? “I don’t get involved.” Why was he answering her questions?
Her eyes were hazel, the irises a kaleidoscope of color.
“So typical,” she said. “Were you burned by love? Did someone break your heart?”
“No.” No one got close enough to break anything. “What about you?” he asked. “Why aren’t there a pack of guys at your beck and call?”
