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He’d never thought about that before.
Hudson’s face contorted, and he howled again, adding some kicks of frustration. Gage understood the sentiment.
“There was this one time in school...”
Once again, Hudson paused to listen. Perhaps he was searching, hoping to hear his dad’s voice. Either way, Gage kept talking. He told Hudson about his dad. He started with their first year of law school, and by the time he was three stories in, the boy was asleep.
Long lashes rested against his plump cheeks, body limp in Gage’s arms. Sweet boy. Zeke and Leila had sure made a cute kid.
Gently, Gage eased the recliner footrest up. He didn’t want to move and wake Hudson, so he’d close his eyes and rest here for a minute.
And maybe when he woke up, his life would make sense again.
Chapter Three (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
Why was her nose so cold? Had it frozen off her face?
Emma’s hand snaked up, rubbing the extremity. Like a sleeping limb, it buzzed, attempting to return from the land of glaciers. Had the heat kicked off in the cabin during the night?
She scrounged for her blankets, recognition of her whereabouts quickly registering when she latched onto her car’s steering wheel instead. A painful new kink in her neck made its presence known when she moved her seat to an upright position.
Emma scrambled for her phone. No messages or calls, so Gage and Hudson must be okay. And it was five in the morning.
Oops. The car was freezing, and so was she. She rubbed her arms through the sleeves of her down jacket. How could she have slept so long in such poor conditions?
“Birdie, I need you to start up nice and quiet now.” Emma tapped the dash of her Mini Cooper. When she’d purchased it, an I See Birds sticker had adorned the bumper. She’d since removed it, but the birding phrase had prompted her to choose the name.
The car’s engine, usually a gentle purr, roared. “Shh. Did you turn into a lion overnight? That’s enough noise out of you.” She kept her headlights off as she slowly eased down Gage’s drive. Emma had no desire to wake anyone up or notify Gage that she’d slept in front of his house for the last few hours.
When she got back to the cabin, Emma snuck inside quietly, attempting not to disturb her sister, Mackenzie, who slept in the other bedroom.
She climbed into bed, the warmth a comfort, but couldn’t shake the chill from her body. After about an hour of hoping sleep would come, she gave up and readied for the day. A hot shower and a cup of tea did wonders for bringing her back to normal temps. She dressed in a black T-shirt—Best Aunt Ever scrawled across it in white print—along with skinny jeans and a long, comfortable cardigan.
She was sitting at the small kitchen table, nursing a second cup of tea, eating toast and reading her morning devotions when Mackenzie came out of her room in pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt sporting their high school mascot—a mustang. Even groggy and half-awake, Mackenzie was long and willowy and strong and feminine all at the same time.
Emma had gotten used to their sister roles long ago. She was of the plain and simple variety and liked reading, tea and binging on chick flicks. Mackenzie was far more adventurous, always needing to conquer the next thing. She could be found white-water rafting or taking bull riding lessons. Actually, she hadn’t tried that last thing. Yet.
“Hey, you’re up early.” Mackenzie shuffled to the coffeepot and gazed longingly at it as if sheer desire might make the necessary contents jump inside.
“Didn’t sleep great this morning. I’m about to head back over to Gage’s. See if he and Hudson survived the night.”
“That’s right.” Mackenzie removed the coffee from the freezer and filled the reusable filter with grounds, then added water from the pitcher in the fridge. The girl liked her coffee a certain way, so Emma never attempted to make it for her. “I’m sure they were fine. Gage will do great with him,” she added with a dismissive wave.
Her sister didn’t have the same concern over Gage and the baby that Emma did. But then, she hadn’t been the one to encourage Gage to keep Hudson in the first place when he’d wanted to find someone else right away.
He’d tried, though. Right now there weren’t any other options. So Emma really hadn’t pushed him into a decision he wouldn’t have come to on his own.
“Still, I should get over there. You know how hard taking care of a baby can be.”
Mackenzie got out a mug with the new Wilder Ranch logo that Cate had recently designed. None of the mugs in their cupboard matched, and Emma liked it that way. Each morning she picked out one that best fit her day. Her mood. Today hers was one she’d made in ceramics class back in high school. Just the right size but a little off-kilter.
Her sister covered a yawn. “Not really.”
True. Mackenzie didn’t involve herself much with the Kids’ Club that Emma ran. And when they’d been younger, Emma had babysat a ton while Mackenzie had given riding lessons to earn spending money.
The two of them were night-and-day different but managed to get along. For that, Emma was thankful.
She cleared her dishes and said goodbye to her sister, then hopped back into her car, which still held a bit of the warmth from when she’d driven it home early this morning.
When she arrived at Gage’s, the time on her dash read seven thirty. It was crazy early in the morning to arrive at someone’s house, but she doubted Gage would complain.
Emma grabbed her purse and her to-go mug of steeping tea. Three cups was more than her norm, but she needed the extra—albeit small—boost of caffeine it would offer.
She stood on the step of Gage’s sprawling ranch house and knocked lightly. It had been his uncle’s ranch until a few years ago. Kip Frasier. A quiet but sweet man who always kept candy in his pocket at church and would dole it out to kids. He’d never married or had children of his own. When he’d passed away, he’d left the ranch to Gage. People really liked to leave things to the man. Land. House. Baby.
Gage had lived here only a little over two years.
The door swung open. Gage’s hair was damp as if he’d recently showered, and he wore a plaid shirt unbuttoned over a white T-shirt with jeans and leather slippers.
Gage Frasier, you are one attractive man.
One who, unfortunately, didn’t see her as anything more than a neighbor or his friend’s little sister. Emma wasn’t even on his datable radar.
The only good part about Gage not being interested in her in that way—besides the fact that she’d never be able to give up on the dream of having children—was that she wouldn’t have to admit to him that she had something in common with his ex-wife.
Before Nicole had run off with James the Homewrecker, Emma had dated him.
The whole ordeal was embarrassing. Mortifying. She’d been so naive and foolish. Emma should have known immediately that everything James spouted was a lie—as if anyone would ever find her as irresistible as he had claimed she was—but she’d allowed herself to be swept away by his flattering words and gestures. He’d been as fake and slimy as the toy goo her niece Ruby liked to play with.
“Morning.” Gage’s voice had that scratchy, unused-as-of-yet quality.
“How’s Hudson? How’d the night go? Did either of you sleep?”
His mouth tugged up at the corners, and her girlish hopes and dreams gave a collective sigh at what would never be. “Come in, Emma.”
She did, the quiet click of the door sounding behind her. There was no sign of the baby anywhere...
She took off her coat, and Gage hung it in the front closet, storing her purse, too. She set her tea on the entry table as Gage motioned for her to follow him. They walked down the hall and into the guest bedroom. With beige walls and a simple olive green bedspread on the full-size bed, the room was masculine. If Hudson stayed, she’d offer to help redo it into something more fitting for a baby boy. Maybe with a vintage airplane theme in honor of his father, Zeke. A nice framed sketch or two, with a light blue color on the walls. Brown accents.
Getting ahead of yourself, girl. Rein it in.
Emma didn’t even know how the night had gone, and here she was, planning the future.
Hudson was asleep on his back in the portable crib, one chubby hand above his head in a fist like he was cheering in victory. As if sensing their presence, his eyelids fluttered, then opened.
“What a good boy you are! You slept in your own bed? Such a big boy.” Emma had him in her arms before he could consider crying.
“Actually, he slept with me in the recliner for most of the night.” Visions of Hudson snoozing on Gage’s chest made her own constrict.
Was there a more attractive picture than that?
Emma laid him on the bed and proceeded to change his diaper while he studied both her and Gage. Hudson arched his back when she tried to put his footie pajamas back on his feet, so she tickled his tummy, distracting him so that she could finish the task.
“Are you hungry?” Emma asked Hudson as she picked him back up.
“Ba.”
“Ba,” she repeated back to him. “That could mean yes. Or no. Or nothing.” Her amusement earned a drowsy smile from him in return. “Do you like scrambled eggs?” Those were soft. Or he might prefer a bottle or pureed baby food. “Let’s go figure out some breakfast.”
The three of them moved into the kitchen. “Here.” She handed the baby to Gage and retrieved the eggs from the fridge. She knew they’d be inside because she’d asked Mackenzie to pick up groceries yesterday morning to leave at Gage’s. Just in case he didn’t have much. He was, after all, a guy. And based on past conversations, she didn’t think Gage was much of a cook.
Gage held Hudson facing out so he could see his surroundings. Still not perfectly at ease, but better than last night. “Andrea—his previous nanny—already texted this morning to check on him.”
“That was nice of her.”
“Definitely. I told her he’s doing well. Not that I knew exactly how he would wake up. But at least then you’d be here, so I wouldn’t have to worry.”
“Sounds like you two did great.” Emma flashed a grin at Hudson as she made her way to the stove with the eggs and a carton of milk. He kicked and waved his arms in answer. “Sweet boy.” She leaned in, pressing numerous kisses to his forehead. “If you slept all night, I bet you’re hungry.”
Emma turned to Gage’s cupboards and scrounged for a bowl, hiding a megawatt smile. It had worked! Her plan to abandon Gage and Hudson had panned out.
Gage hadn’t answered all of the questions she’d lobbed at him while on his front step, but he wasn’t a haggard mess. He’d managed a shower. That had to be a good sign.
Emma had hoped and prayed Hudson would sleep well. She’d also anticipated some fussiness or possibly a meltdown—from him or Gage. But the scenario she’d walked into this morning was way better than she’d imagined.
Maybe convincing Gage to keep the baby would be easier than she’d thought.
* * *
“He didn’t exactly sleep all night.”
Emma cracked an egg and emptied it into the glass bowl, placing the shell on a paper towel. “Oh, he didn’t? That’s a bummer. So what happened? Did he cry?”
“He woke up at about five.”
Her hand froze midcrack on the second egg, clear liquid sliding down the outside of the glass bowl. She finished dumping in what was left, then wiped up the spill with a paper towel. After foraging a piece of shell out of the eggs, she tossed the paper towel and shell into the trash.
“I heard a noise around then.”
Emma’s head whipped in his direction, panic dancing in her silver-blue eyes. “You did? What was it? Ouch.” Her fingers dug into the side of her neck as she faced the counter again.
“A vehicle, and I don’t think it would have been one of the guys. Too early. Do you have a knot?”
“Yeah, but it’s not a big deal. So...you didn’t see who it was?”
“No. When I moved, Hudson roused. I fed him a bottle and he went back to sleep. That’s when I laid him in his bed.”
“Oh, what a relief.”
That was a strange response. Unless... It couldn’t have been Emma he’d heard this morning, could it? But why would she be here at that hour?
Gage switched Hudson to his left arm. “Let me.” He took over massaging the knot for her. The faint hint of something sweet—like vanilla or cinnamon—teased his senses. His stomach rumbled, thankfully quietly, in response. To the idea of food or Emma herself?
The first, of course. Emma was too young for him and too...pristine. Like a dish someone would put on a high shelf and then never use. He was world-weary and disheartened regarding relationships—like an old, dirty slop bucket used for feeding pigs. The two items didn’t belong in the same vicinity. Emma deserved a fresh relationship with a man who hadn’t been through what he had. Who wasn’t jaded. And who wanted kids.
Strange that his mind had even traveled in that direction regarding her. He’d known her for a couple of years and it never had before.
“You don’t need to do that.” Emma motioned to his kneading, while at the same time relaxing her neck in the other direction to allow him access. “But it feels really good.” Since Emma faced the counter, she couldn’t see his amused grin. He liked how the truth rolled from her tongue, often, it seemed, without her permission.
Except at this moment, when she was acting a bit elusive.
“Thanks for the massage.” Emma returned to the eggs, cracking and adding two more. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t worse, that Hudson wasn’t up every hour or two.”
Dread rolled through him. “Babies do that?”
“They can when they’re little. Probably not at this age, but with all he’s been through...not impossible. Especially with the new surroundings.”
“So how’d you sleep last night?”
“Great.” The word reeked of fake perkiness. “Where’s your frying pan?”
He pointed with the toe of his leather slipper to the lower cupboard. She found a small one, then sprayed it with oil and set it on the burner.
Hudson squirmed in his arms, and Gage put him on the floor. He crawled across the kitchen to the dining table and began inspecting a chair. He put a hand on the bottom rung and attempted to pull up, then wobbled and dropped back to the ground. Confusion and worry puckered his little brow as he made his way back to them. Poor kid. Everything was new and different for him.
I miss your dad, too, little guy. I wish I was more like him. But, I promise, I am going to find the right family for you.
Emma beat the eggs, then sent them careening into the pan. It whooshed as the mixture hit the heated surface.
When Hudson gave a disgruntled cry, Emma turned to him. “Oh, kiddo, you’re so out of your element. We need to unpack the rest of your toys this morning.” She opened a lower cupboard and retrieved a large metal mixing bowl, then a plastic serving spoon from the utensil drawer. Once she handed them to Hudson, he contentedly made a racket with the two items.
Gage leaned against the counter, facing Emma as she stirred the eggs in the pan. She didn’t look at him.
“Anything I can do to help?”
“Nope. This is too easy to require assistance.” After finishing the eggs, she turned off the burner, carrying the pan over to Hudson’s high chair. She used the spatula to spread some of the scrambled eggs onto the tray and then blew across them. Once she returned the pan to the stove, she scooped Hudson up from the floor and transported him to the high chair.
“Do you want some eggs? Does that sound good?” She buckled him in, securing a bib around his neck. He fisted a handful of food and maneuvered it, not so gracefully, into his mouth.
Emma got a plate out of the cupboard next to Gage. “Hungry?” She nodded toward the pan. “I made enough for you.”
“And you?”
“No. I already ate.”
She moved to the utensil drawer, but Gage beat her to the spot, blocking her from opening it. “Emma, what were you doing around five this morning?”
“Sleeping.” Her answer came out fast, but it slipped up at the end, almost a question.
