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Gravy. Emma made it sound so easy when it would be anything but. His hands strangled the steering wheel, then loosened. But Emma was right. Gage had been raised in a fantastic home with parents who thought he hung the moon. It did matter what Hudson felt over the next few days or weeks or however long this situation lasted until they found a more suitable family for him.
“You can do this, Gage.” Did Emma have a cheerleading background he’d somehow missed hearing about? Did the woman hoard pom-poms in her closet? She was full of confidence in him that was undeserved. He’d already botched a marriage and could so quickly and easily mess things up with Hudson.
“Did I say too much?” The mirror framed Emma’s face as it contorted with concern.
“No. I needed to hear it. Thanks.”
She beamed in answer, and her attractiveness ramped up to a level that caught Gage by surprise. Her lightest-shade-of-brown hair was up in a ponytail today, and she wore skinny jeans, Converse shoes, and a charcoal sweater with a jumbo-sized white heart on the front. Emma had a simplicity about her. An even-keeled nature. She reminded him of...homemade chocolate chip cookies right out of the oven. That’s the kind of comfort she offered.
“Thanks for coming with me today. It was over and above.”
“You’re welcome. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with this cutie.” Emma’s mouth softened as her gaze rested on Hudson.
God had worked today out, that was for sure. Gage would give Him all of the credit for the woman in the back seat currently making everything better for every passenger in the car.
When they arrived at his house, vehicles belonging to Luc and his twin sister, Mackenzie, were parked out front beside Emma’s car. Gage twisted, meeting Emma’s not-so-innocent look. “Any chance you had something to do with this?”
“What? Me? Never.” The suppressed chuckle that followed contradicted her words. She couldn’t lie to save her life. A good quality in Gage’s book.
The front door of the house opened and the group exited as he parked and cut the Jeep’s engine—so much for giving Luc a key in case of emergency.
Luc stayed to help unload the car while his wife, Cate, their four-year-old daughter Ruby, Emma and Mackenzie focused on getting the car seat with a still-sleeping Hudson inside. Gage doubted it took four females to transport the boy, but he didn’t mind the reprieve.
In true Colorado nature, the weather had changed yesterday, swinging from freezing to a pleasant fifty degrees. With the heat from the sun, the day felt balmy.
“So,” Luc slapped him on the back, “how you holding up?”
Gage opened the back hatch, amazed everything didn’t tumble out. “Okay. I guess. Think I’m in shock. I only found out about being named Hudson’s guardian a week ago. Still haven’t wrapped my mind around it.”
“Understandable.” Luc snagged a saucer that had various stations of activity around the top. “I can’t say I totally get what you’re feeling, but then again...”
True. Luc hadn’t found out Ruby existed until last summer. So his friend got the surprise part in all of this. And probably the feeling-inept portion, too.
Gage scooped up a box labeled Toys. “How am I supposed to do this?”
“Not sure. Wish I had answers for you.”
“Emma seems to think if I close my eyes and make a wish, unicorns and rainbows will appear and all will be well.”
Luc laughed. “She’s probably expecting this to turn out like one of those romantic books or movies she’s hooked on. We have cable just so she can stream the Hallmark Channel.”
“I would make a good leading man.”
A snort from Luc followed his quip.
The next few minutes unloading with Luc felt like a sliver of normal. The smell of the ranch—a mixture of hay and dirt since the cattle were over the hill—brought Gage’s shoulders down about ten notches.
When he’d quit the law firm and moved out here with Nicole hoping to save their marriage, he hadn’t expected to fall for ranching. But it suited him. He liked the physical labor. Being outdoors. Managing staff and cattle. The business side of things.
It was a surprisingly good fit. Not that he didn’t enjoy practicing law. He still helped people out when the opportunity arose and picked up some contract work from his old firm when it fit his schedule. But the switch in lifestyle had been a godsend at a time when he’d needed it, and now he couldn’t imagine going back to that fast-paced, cutthroat world.
Once they grabbed the last load, including a diaper bag that was thankfully a manly black backpack, the two of them tromped inside.
The kitchen had been taken over by women, a sight that had never happened in this house. In the short time Nicole had actually lived here before taking off, she’d only prepared a handful of meals. Cooking hadn’t really been her thing. Having an affair a second time had been more up her alley.
The kitchen opened to the living room, a butcher-block island separating the spaces. It was covered with lunch items—a tray of meat and cheese and other sandwich toppings. Hudson had awakened and was now sitting in the high chair that someone had assembled. Ruby stood in front of him, entertaining. She wore a blue dress and red cowboy boots, her hair secured in two buns. Luc’s daughter definitely had the inside demeanor to match her outside cuteness.
“We’re going to be friends, okay? I thought we were going to be cousins, but Mommy said we weren’t.” Ruby leaned toward Hudson, voice dropping to a whisper that could be heard for miles. “But we can pretend.”
Hudson chortled in response, filled with nothing less than adoration for the delightful girl in front of him.
“And we’re going to ride horses, and we’re going to get lots of treats from Mr. Joe.” Apparently Joe—the Wilder Ranch head chef who was known for whipping up mouthwatering desserts—had gained a super fan in Ruby. The girl continued her initiation for the baby, listing all of the fun things she planned for them to do.
When Gage had attempted to picture this day, he hadn’t imagined that it would turn out like this. These people filling the space. Hudson happy and not in tears at being torn first from his dad and then his nanny.
At least today—so far—had gone okay. If only Gage could confidently say the same thing about tomorrow.
* * *
Emma held Hudson with his head tucked against her shoulder as she paced the living room in Gage’s house. The baby didn’t like to be cradled sideways. She’d tried that already and had been informed by squirming and tears that Hudson did not appreciate the position. So upright it was.
It had been a long day. They’d left to get Hudson at eight this morning, and now it was thirteen hours later. The full house from earlier had dispersed, leaving only her, Gage and the baby. The man reminded Emma of a caged animal tonight. Trapped. Unable to sit still. He kept popping up to do things. He’d been out to the barn twice already even though his ranch hands knew what he was up against and had things covered.
Gage might not know what to do with himself, but he was going to have to figure that out—and quickly—because Emma was about to go home for the night. And the man who hadn’t so much as held Hudson all day was about to be on his own.
No time like the present. She crossed to the kitchen where Gage was unloading the dishwasher. She hated to interrupt his task—because how attractive was a guy cleaning?—but she forced herself to. “Here you go.” She deposited a drowsy Hudson in his arms despite his startled grunt of protest. “He should be ready to sleep. I think the late nap this afternoon messed up his schedule, but I’ve got him settled down.”
Gage looked at the baby, then her, panic evident. “Maybe you should put him to bed before you go? He’s already so comfortable with you.”
Nice try, Counselor.
“I think it’s better if you do it.”
“Right now? But what do I...do?”
“Hold him.” She pressed down on a grin. “I have to use the restroom. Be right back.” She took her time inside the hallway bathroom, lollygagging, giving Gage time to adjust. When she returned, Hudson had started to fuss a bit. A drowsy, agitated complaint here and there.
Her fingers itched to take him back, but she resisted. Barely. “You’re doing great. Just try to remain calm. He’ll sense if you’re not.”
Gage’s eyes shot to full moon size at that. The man had really great eyes. When he grinned, they crinkled at the corners, and the light sapphire contrasted with his dark hair, making the color pop.
“Now what?” He followed Emma to the front door.
“Now you both get some rest. I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Do I lay him in the portable crib?”
“Sure.”
“Do you think he’ll just...sleep?”
She hoped so.
“Are you sure you shouldn’t just stay? I could sleep in the barn.”
Emma laughed. Those were drastic measures to avoid a night with Hudson. And also very much like something she would read in one of her historical romance novels, with the man trying to save the woman’s reputation from being tarnished.
“No need for that. You’ll be fine.” Her voice was bright. Phony to her own ears. “If you need anything or have a question—big or small—call me. I’ll answer any time of the night.” She kissed Hudson’s forehead, silently praying that things would go well for him and Gage. “I’ll see you two in the morning.”
Crisp air nipped at her as she hurried to her car. The temperature had dropped dramatically once the sun had slipped behind the mountains. She got in, started the engine but then didn’t budge.
Would Gage and Hudson be okay? What if the baby screamed all night? Should she be doing something more? Her windpipe shrunk down to straw proportions.
“God, I need You to handle this. Please.” Emma couldn’t fix this situation for any of them. And Gage had to step into his role as Hudson’s caregiver. Emma would help him as much as she could, but the two of them needed to bond. If they formed an attachment, it would go yards toward Gage keeping Hudson. The kind of healing the man was unknowingly desperate for was currently in his arms in the shape of a wiggly baby boy.
Emma blasted the heat, then turned her phone up to the highest volume for texts or calls and switched off the other app notifications. If Gage needed her, she didn’t want to miss him.
While she had her phone in hand, she sent a text to her sister-in-law, Cate. I’m doing the right thing leaving them, right?Guilt over abandoning Gage was piling up.
Thankfully Cate answered quickly.
Yes! If you stay, it will just prolong Gage figuring this out on his own. And, unfortunately, he has to. Zeke didn’t name you as the baby’s guardian. (Though had he known you, I have no doubt you’d have been number one on his list.) This is Gage’s situation to handle. Come home.
Okay. You’re right. Thanks.
Anytime. And if you happen to bring home a pizza, I won’t complain. Kidding! Because I know you’d do exactly that. I already have heartburn and don’t want to add to it.
Emma chuckled. Cate was eating for three, and she was doing an excellent job of it. And Luc was as doting as a husband could be. If Emma wasn’t such a romantic, their relationship would be cause for mucho eye rolling. As it was, she was faintly envious of what they had. Luc and Cate had started off rocky, but once they’d figured out they were both still crazy about each other, they’d been solid. Steady.
Even with unexpected twins on the way.
The front light on Gage’s house switched off. Was that a good sign? Was Hudson asleep? Why hadn’t Emma thought to install some sort of video baby monitor? There was probably a kind that would have hooked up to an app on her phone. That would have been an excellent idea.
And completely intrusive.
Emma had claimed not to be a stalker, but based on her current thoughts, the accusation would definitely stick.
“Fine. I’ll wait it out. Just for a bit.” She switched off the engine. There was nothing wrong with sitting there for a little while just to make sure Gage or Hudson didn’t panic. That way if Gage called or texted, she’d be close by to assist. If not, he didn’t need to know she hadn’t left yet. And she wasn’t about to text Cate and relay her new plan, because she was pretty sure it wouldn’t be met with approval.
Emma found a sweatshirt in the back that she could scrunch up as a pillow, reclined her seat and closed her eyes. After a short nap, she’d head home and no one would be the wiser.
* * *
She’d left him. Emma had promised to help, and now Gage was alone with a baby. He didn’t even know how to change a diaper! Should he set an alarm for that sort of thing? Or would Hudson let him know when it was time? Wasn’t there something about the diaper—or a line on it—changing color? Emma had explained it all earlier when she’d given him a lesson. He had listened, but now he couldn’t remember the details.
Babies should come with a manual. A legal contract would be even better.
Gage walked with Hudson through the kitchen and back into the living room, copying what he’d seen Emma do. But, instead of resting his head on Gage’s shoulder, Hudson arched back to study his new mode of transportation. The soft material of the navy blue footed pajamas Emma had changed him into stretched with the movement.
Hudson peered up with curious blue eyes. His hair held a hint of auburn, but mostly brown. His chubby fist grasped Gage’s shirt near his collar. He didn’t look tired. When Emma had been holding him, he had, but now?
Not even close.
“What are we going to do with each other?”
No answer. No smiles like Ruby had conjured.
Might as well lay him down and see what happened. Earlier today the crew at his house had set up a portable crib/playpen in his guest bedroom. Gage didn’t have a permanent crib yet, and he wouldn’t be needing one if things went according to plan.
He headed down the hall and into the bedroom, settling Hudson into the portable crib with his blanket and a stuffed elephant. Hudson stared as he backed away.
What now? Would he put himself to sleep?
Gage retreated to the master bedroom, giving his king-size bed a longing glance as he entered his bathroom. Could he risk sleeping in here tonight? What if Hudson cried and he couldn’t hear him? Maybe he should have put the portable crib in his room for the first night. Was it too late for that?
A wail sounded as he rinsed his toothbrush and deposited it back into the holder.
Guess that answered his worry about being too far away. Even someone hard of hearing wouldn’t be able to miss the tornado siren coming from across the hall.
He found Hudson twisted up with his blanket, as if he’d been rolling around and got stuck. Fat, sad tears rolled down the baby’s cheeks, which had turned splotchy.
Gage pulled him out of the mess, snagged the blanket and held it against Hudson’s back. What now? He walked into the living room. Hudson peered this way and that, probably looking for Emma. Or his dad. Or his nanny.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck with me, buddy. I’d be upset, too. Are you hungry? Or not tired? What’s going on?”
When did kids start talking? Hopefully, around nine months old, because Gage could use some answers from the tyke.
It might be worth trying to feed him. What could it hurt?
Gage somehow managed to make a bottle while holding Hudson, though numerous powder spills and drops of water lined the counter after the impressive feat.
He headed for the espresso leather recliner in the living room and sat. Hudson drank a little, then stared at him. Nibbled on the bottle a bit more. Emma had only fed him the hour before so he probably wasn’t hungry, but Gage wasn’t sure what else to do. He didn’t have a lot of baby-whispering options up the sleeve of his waffle shirt.
He gave up on the bottle, setting it on the floor next to the chair.
Hudson’s head rested in the crook of Gage’s arm. His eyes flooded. A whimper escaped, followed by a cry.
All day, Gage had held himself in check. Not allowing himself to reflect on what Hudson had been through. What he’d lost. First his mother. Now his dad. It was too much for a baby to contend with. That’s why Gage wanted to find him the perfect forever home, and fast. Hudson needed a mom and a dad. Ones who knew what they were doing. Who could give him the love he deserved and the family he needed.
“Your dad was my closest friend in law school.” Like a rusty engine, Hudson’s cry stuttered. “He was the kind of guy who would do anything for you.”
Somehow, he’d gained the baby’s rapt attention. And he wasn’t about to lose it and have him start crying again, so Gage kept talking. “When things went bad with Nicole, he was there for me. I’m not sure I was as there for him when your mom—” Gage swallowed. “When she went to heaven. I tried, but I just...didn’t know what I was doing.”
If only Zeke hadn’t attempted to outfly that storm, he’d be holding his son right now instead of an inept Gage.
Zeke had been rushing to get back from a meeting in Aspen. He’d had his pilot’s license for years and was meticulous about following protocol. That’s why the accident had come as such a shock. But he’d hurried through his preflight check in order to beat the weather and then encountered mechanical issues that could have been avoided.
Moisture coated Gage’s eyes, and he blinked to clear it away. If Hudson went to another home, would they keep Zeke’s memory alive for the boy?
