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Emma waited while Gage stared at the dash. Finally his eyes landed on her. “Zeke named me as his guardian.”
Now it was her turn to enter the stages of shock. She didn’t say anything right away. Just let that gigantic news simmer. “Did you know he had?”
Gage’s shoulders inched up. “After Leila died, he was such a mess. His grief was so intense. He asked me to take care of Hudson if anything ever happened to him. Of course I said yes in that moment. I’d wanted to do anything to ease his turmoil. To help. But I didn’t know he’d gone and made it legal.” His hands scrubbed through his hair, leaving the normally well behaved deep-brown, almost-black locks in disarray. “I’m the absolute worst person for this. I don’t even want to have kids.”
Emma couldn’t be further from Gage in that regard. She craved a house full of little ones. Someday. She was only twenty-three and in no rush. But definitely someday.
“That doesn’t mean you can’t do it.” Emma had full confidence in that, even if Gage didn’t.
“That’s exactly what it means.” Gage’s weariness expanded, slithering across the console.
“So what happens now?”
“That was Zeke’s aunt. She’s keeping Hudson for now and his nanny is helping out still, but it’s not a long-term solution. His aunt Rita has too many health issues. I told her I needed some time to process. She understood. I asked her to check with the other family members and see if there’s anyone else interested in keeping the baby. She’s going to talk with her husband—he’s named as the executor of the will—and they’ll investigate some other options.” His groan reeked of desperation. “Anywhere is better than with me. A single twenty-nine-year-old guy? That’s crazy. What was Zeke thinking?”
That you’d be perfect. That maybe a baby would heal that big ol’ hole inside your chest that Nicole carved. Gage’s ex-wife had certainly done a number on him.
“And what if there’s not someone else to take him?”
Gage dropped his phone into the cup holder, and it clattered with the unusually careless movement. “Then I’ll deal with that then. In the meantime, I’m just going to pray there is.”
“I’ll pray, too.” Except... Emma wasn’t so sure she agreed with Gage’s petition for another home for Hudson. She’d pray hard for that sweet baby. That God would provide a loving family for him. That he’d end up exactly where he was supposed to.
And if the answer to those requests was the man sitting next to her in the driver’s seat, then she’d ask that Gage would accept that, too.
* * *
Three days later, Gage pounded on the front door of Luc Wilder’s cabin. He usually didn’t show up unannounced, especially now that Luc had married Cate. But desperate times and all of that.
When no one answered, he knocked again. He needed...someone. He had to process all of this Hudson stuff with a friend, and Luc fit that bill.
The door wrenched open as a swirl of frigid wind wrapped around him. Remnants of a dusting of snow blew from the roof and wafted behind the collar of his wool jacket. His coat blocked most of the chill, but a Mount Everest parka wouldn’t be enough to handle the cold snap that had been hanging on for the last week.
Emma stood inside, her questioning look likely matching his. Why was she answering Luc’s door? She must be over visiting Cate. The two of them had become good friends since Cate had shown up at the Wilder Ranch with a young daughter Luc never knew he had.
Wearing a long sweater and leggings with fuzzy socks, Emma looked like she’d just crawled out from under a cozy blanket. Her hair was up in a haphazard bun, her face devoid of makeup.
No blame for his chilly intrusion registered. Emma didn’t really get upset, did she? At least Gage had never been the recipient of her anger.
“Hey, Emma. Is Luc here?”
“No, we finished up moving the last of our things yesterday. He and Cate are living at the house now, and Mackenzie and I are here.”
That’s right. How had he forgotten? Luc and Cate were expecting twins next summer, so they’d planned to move into the four-bedroom house that Emma and her sister Mackenzie had occupied, and the girls planned to switch over to the two-bedroom cabin that had been Luc’s. Guess they already had.
The last few days since he’d found out about being named Hudson’s guardian, Gage had functioned in a blur.
“I completely forgot about the move. I’ll check there. Thanks.” He stepped back, his vision already directed toward the house down the hill.
“Wait,” Emma called out. “Luc’s not there. He, Cate and Ruby are running some errands, and Mackenzie’s not home, either, so it’s just me.” Another draft of piercing air whipped around them. “Can you come in? Please? It’s freezing out there.”
When he didn’t move fast enough, Emma stepped outside in her socks, grabbed his arm and tugged him into the cabin. The door clicked shut behind him, hemming in the warmth.
A fire crackled, orange flames licking the dried wood. Emma steered him to the couch across from it and gave him a gentle shove so that he landed on the cushion.
“I’m going to make us some tea.”
Gage removed his jacket, tossing it over the back of the couch as Emma bustled along the small line of cabinets and appliances at the front of the cabin. She filled a kettle with water and placed it on the burner. After removing two mugs from the cupboard, she opened a cabinet and retrieved a wooden box.
“Chamomile okay?”
Gage had never had a cup of tea in his life, so... “Sure.”
“Honey or lemon or milk with it?”
“No, thanks.” At least that was his guess. He liked his coffee black, so maybe tea fell into the same category.
When the whistle blew, she poured the steaming liquid into the mugs, added tea bags and brought them into the living room. The cup she set before him on the coffee table said breathe in scrawling letters. Was she sending him a message?
Emma sat in the chair that flanked the couch, one leg tucked beneath her. “Okay, what’s going on? Is it the stuff with the baby? Hudson?”
He nodded.
“I’ve been praying about him so much. Luc and Cate have been, too. I know you’d rather have my brother for a sounding board, but currently I’m all you’ve got. So, spill. I’ll listen.”
Maybe Emma would have some good advice. She was in charge of the Kids’ Club at the ranch and had a definite gift for dealing with children. Or maybe she’d offer to keep the baby herself.
And if she could hear his horrible thoughts, she’d be mortified.
It wasn’t that Gage didn’t want to honor his friend’s request or even that he didn’t want Hudson. But he was nowhere near the right person for taking care of a baby or raising a child. Not in the least.
“I talked to Zeke’s aunt Rita again today. There isn’t another family member who can take him. Rita’s in her late sixties, and she and her husband have some health problems, so they’re not an option. There is no one. That’s why Zeke left him to me in the first place. I thought he’d just been delirious with grief.” Gage picked up his mug and took a sip. The tea had an apple-like flavor. Not terrible. Not the best thing he’d ever tasted. At least it added some moisture to his parched mouth. “But I guess not. I asked the nanny if she could watch Hudson at the ranch, but she’s already accepted a new position that starts next week. She was apologetic. Said she needs the money and took the other job because she hadn’t known what the future held with Hudson. And, of course, the new family is counting on her now, so she’s out. I should have talked to her right away. Asked her to stay on.” But he’d been certain there would be another family member or couple who would be a better fit for Hudson. Gage had never imagined he’d end up actually keeping the boy.
Emma twisted the mug in her hands back and forth. “You still don’t feel...qualified to be his guardian?”
“Not in the least.”
“What happens if you say no? Can you even say no?”
“I can ask the court to be relieved of the guardianship.”
“Then what?”
Gage set his mug on the coffee table, his next words weighing down his tongue. “I think he’d go into the foster care system.”
Emma’s features warred between disbelief and dismay. “But you wouldn’t let that happen, right? I mean, you have to take him.” Her lips formed a tight bud. “I’m sorry. I’ve said too much, I just—”
“You’re right. I do have to. At least for the time being.” Gage would honor what he’d told Zeke. He would take care of Hudson—by keeping him temporarily while searching until he found a better situation for the boy.
Emma relaxed visibly, color returning to her cheeks.
“But I still don’t think I’m the right person for this. I have no idea how to take care of a baby. I know absolutely nothing. What am I supposed to do?”
He met her steel-blue eyes, letting the questions brim. Emma was twenty-three. Six years younger than him. His friend’s little sister. And yet here he was dumping all of this on her and expecting answers. But she was good that way. The kind of comforting person everyone wanted to be around.
From the moment she’d tugged him inside, a little of the burden crushing him had ebbed. The Emma Effect.
She brightened. “I’ll help.” She set her tea on the coffee table with excited force, moving to the edge of her seat. “This is our slow season. We only have a few church groups here and there on the weekends. Maybe a corporate event. I can work around those, and, truthfully, they don’t even need me because there’s usually no Kids’ Club. I can watch Hudson while you get things in order.”
Steel drums pounded inside his skull. Emma’s idea could work. It was asking a lot of her, but Gage could pay her. Since his uncle had left him the ranch free and clear, it had allowed Gage to take some risks that had paid off. The ranch had done well for him. Plus, Zeke—being himself and completely prepared—had left provisions for taking care of Hudson.
“If you’re serious, that might just work. You watching him would buy me the time to find a better home for him.”
“Or—” Emma’s hand lifted in an endearing I-just-thought-of-this gesture “—maybe you have the right home for him, and by having him stay with you, you’ll figure that out.”
“That’s not the case, Emma. I am sure of that. I might feel differently if I ever planned or hoped to have kids one day, but I don’t. Not everyone is built for having children.”
Disappointment creased the corners of her arresting eyes. With her light brown hair and fresh complexion, Emma wasn’t supermodel gorgeous. She was more...girl-next-door pretty. She was also innocent and sweet and crazy to think that he could or should raise Hudson.
“It would be a short-term fix. Maybe it’s wrong. Maybe God will send fire and brimstone down on me for it, but I’m only going to take Hudson on a provisional basis. Please tell me you’ll still help now that I’ve admitted that. Because I don’t know what I’m going to do if you can’t.” Gage swallowed a frenzied laugh. “No pressure or anything.”
Emma took a sip of tea, the lower curve of her lip partially hidden behind the mug rim. “I’m the one who offered. I’m not going to renege. It’s all going to work out, Gage.”
“Anyone ever tell you that your optimism knows no bounds?”
She laughed, a happy, infectious sound. “I know you can do this.”
And Gage knew this—Emma might be full of fanciful ideas, but he was not. A more fitting home existed for Hudson. He just had to find it.
* * *
If someone handed Emma a baby, she’d tuck the bundle against her stomach like a football and run for it so no one could take the child back. Gage couldn’t sprint fast enough in the other direction. He was a single twenty-nine-year-old guy. Of course caring for a baby wasn’t at the top of his wish list, but God must have put this exact thing in Gage’s life for a reason.
Usually the man across from her was all things strong and put together. But tonight he wore his confusion and weariness much like his navy blue sweater, jeans and brown lace-up boots.
When she’d opened the door, he’d looked as lost as he had in his vehicle the other day.
Emma took a sip from her vintage Rocky Mountain National Park mug that had been in her parents’ cupboard for as long as she could remember, the tea’s subtle undertones familiar and soothing. When her parents had purged and moved out of state, she hadn’t been able to let the childhood memory go. Along with a few others.
“We’ll figure it out, Gage. You’re not alone in this. Might feel like it, but you have people willing to help. You have a tribe over here. We’re not going to leave you hanging.”
The faintest smile touched his mouth. “Thanks. I appreciate that. It’s just...usually I know exactly what needs to be done, and I just...do it.” He reached for his tea, downing a swig as if the liquid could right all that had gone topsy-turvy in his life. “But this...”
But this time, he knew what he should do and he was fighting it. Emma got that. She had a little feistiness in her, too. Not as much as her sister, Mackenzie, but still. It was almost never easy to do the right thing. The thing God was asking for that was too big, too hard.
But she also believed Zeke must have had a reason for choosing Gage as the baby’s guardian.
She’d help Gage with Hudson because she wanted to. Because it only made sense for her to lend a hand. But she didn’t plan to admit to Gage that she had ulterior motives. She believed this baby could heal something in him that his ex-wife had broken.
Gage might view himself as a temporary guardian for Hudson, but if Emma had anything to say about it, this situation would be permanent.
Chapter Two (#u77d83e5a-9684-5c63-b69a-c6cd6fbb7956)
Gage strode out of Rita’s house on Friday morning with Hudson strapped into a mobile car seat. He half expected the police to show up with guns blazing and accuse him of baby stealing.
Since he’d said yes to assuming temporary guardianship, things had progressed quickly. The past three days, he’d visited Hudson at Rita’s to get better acquainted with him.
Gage had known the boy since birth, but during recent months he’d only seen Zeke a handful of times and the baby twice.
Thankfully, the ranch foreman who had worked for Gage’s uncle had stayed after his passing. Along with the other cowboys, Ford had been covering for Gage’s absence this week. The man had given Gage a crash course in cattle ranching over the last two years. Without his coaching, Gage would have failed a thousand times over.
Thankfully Emma had also agreed to help him out today by coming with him to pick up Hudson. When he’d asked her to consider accompanying him, she’d answered, “What’s there to think about? Of course I will.”
Her giving heart made his resemble a lump of coal.
They’d already loaded the car with piles of Hudson’s things. Toys. Clothes. Gage had baby equipment he wouldn’t have a clue what to do with up to his ears and mashed against the windows of his Grand Cherokee.
He couldn’t believe he was doing this. Taking a baby home with him. But his name was on the paperwork, so here they went.
You’d think with how much he’d loved Zeke, this would be second nature for Gage. He should be saying things like, Of course I’ll take the baby. This is what Zeke chose and I want to honor my friend. But their friendship didn’t mean he was the right person for this.
Which made him wonder why he’d said yes when Zeke had asked him to take care of Hudson. It had been shortly after Leila had passed away from complications from childbirth. Sounded medieval, but it still happened on rare occasions. Zeke had been a mess. Obviously with good reason. Gage had simply been trying to reassure him, never thinking that one day a casual promise would turn into this. Never thinking that Zeke would be killed in a plane crash when his son was just nine months old.
Now, not only was he grieving the loss of his friend, he was supposed to fill his shoes in his son’s life? And how, exactly, would he do that?
At least he had help in the form of the cheerful, capable woman currently opening the back door of his vehicle.
Gage slid the car seat in, and Emma climbed in after, securing it while he went around to the driver’s side.
After some adjustments—making sure the seat was snug, removing their jackets for the drive and buckling themselves in—they were on the road. Emma sat in the back seat with Hudson, talking to him in that soothing tone of hers until he cooed back at her.
A few miles later, Emma announced that Hudson had fallen asleep.
“Good.” Nap time Gage could handle.
“It’s going to be okay, Gage. I promise this is all going to work out.”
He met her bright eyes in the rearview mirror. “You can’t promise that, Emma.”
“It’s not a me promise, it’s a God one. He works things together for good. Even the kind of mountains that don’t appear climbable.”
Gage wanted to tell her that Hudson wasn’t a mountain and ask if she could turn down her optimism for the day so he could just stay worried and distraught. But asking Emma not to be positive and hopeful would be like requesting she forgo the use of her limbs. It was as much a part of her as the blood pumping through her veins.
“I know this isn’t what you wanted for Hudson. And that you plan to find another, better—” Emma’s version of polite sarcasm laced the last word “—home for him, but in the meantime, while you’re keeping him, you need to want him, even if it’s only temporary. It’s important. Especially with how he’s being uprooted. Babies can sense more than we realize, and he’ll know if you’re only halfway in. So at least be committed for the time you have him. Please.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.” Gage said it more for himself than in answer to Emma.
“You don’t have to. Just love him. The rest is gravy.”
