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“Joe, it was so long ago, and I’ve changed so much since then, but I still remember what it was like.”
“What what was like?” he asked.
“Growing up as Clancy’s kid. I remember feeling as if I’d never be more than that and wondering what you saw in me. Whatever it was you saw, I didn’t see it in myself. When I found out I was pregnant, I’d never been so afraid. It wasn’t that I was afraid of the baby, or even what people would say—they’d been talking all my life. I was afraid of losing you.”
“Why? How could you think I wouldn’t stand by you?”
The waitress brought their coffee and said, “Holler if you need something else.”
“Joe,” Louisa said, as soon as the woman was out of earshot, “when we talked about the future, you said repeatedly how much you didn’t want kids.”
“I was young and I was afraid I’d be like my parents. I thought I couldn’t take the chance. But I’d never have abandoned you.”
How could she have said she loved him and not known even that much about him?
“But at the time, all I knew was that I didn’t measure up to you or your family and I was pregnant and you didn’t want kids. I was so scared. But I planned to tell you. It took me a couple weeks to work up to it, but I’d planned it all out. We were supposed to go out that night and I even memorized what I was going to say. But then I saw the paper.”
“The engagement announcement?”
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