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She intended to play out one of her fantasies, one of the ways they’d made love in her dreams—with her on top. But first she needed him to know something. “I take the Pill...to regulate my periods. And I’m safe,” she whispered.
“So am I.”
She maneuvered her middle over his engorged shaft, which stood straight up. Every hormone inside her body sizzled as she eased down onto him, taking him inside inch by inch. He was big, but like last night her body stretched to accommodate his size.
“Look at me, Jillian.” Obeying his command, she held his gaze.
“I love you, whether you want me to or not and it’s too late for you to do anything about it.”
She drew in a deep breath and continued to ease him inside of her, not wanting to dwell on the problems love could cause. They would talk again later. But for now, this was what she wanted. This was what she needed. And when she had taken him to the hilt, she moved, riding him the way she’d been taught to ride years ago. From the look reflected in the depths of his eyes, she was giving him a ride he would remember for a long time.
She liked the view from up here. Staring down at him, seeing his expression change each time she shoved downward, taking him deeper. His nostrils flared. His breathing was choppy. Was that a little sweat breaking through on his brow?
Riding him felt good. Exhilarating. He definitely had the perfect body to be ridden. Hard, masculine and solid. She had her knees locked on each side of his strong thighs. Her inner muscles clenched, gripping him in a hold that had him groaning deep in his throat.
She loved the sound. Loved being in control. Loved him. The last thought sent her senses spiraling, and when he shouted her name and bucked his entire body upward, she felt his massive explosion. He drenched her insides with thick semen. And she used her muscles to squeeze out more.
Perspiration soaked her head, her face, their bodies...but she kept on riding. When another explosion hit him, she nearly jerked them both off the bed when she screamed in pleasure.
He held her tight and she held him and she wished she never had to let him go.
* * *
Aidan pushed a damp curl out of Jillian’s eyes. She was sprawled on top of him, breathing deeply. He figured she had earned the right to be exhausted. He’d never experienced anything so invigorating or stimulating in his entire life.
“Don’t ask me not to love you, Jillian,” he finally found the strength to say softly, and the words came straight from his heart. For the first time in his life, he’d told a woman he loved her and the woman wished that he didn’t.
When he felt her tears fall on his arm, he shifted their bodies so he could look at her. “Is me loving you that bad?”
She shook her head. “No. I know it should be what I want but the timing... There is so much I still have to do.”
“And you think I’d stop you from doing them?”
“No, but I’d stop myself. I’d lose focus. You would want to be with me and I would want to be with you. In the open. I know you don’t understand why I can’t do that, but I can’t.”
She was right, he didn’t understand. He believed she was all wrong about how Dillon and Pam, or the entire Westmoreland family, would handle them hooking up. He doubted it would be a big deal. But it didn’t matter what he thought. She thought otherwise and that’s what mattered.
“What if I agree to do what we’re doing now? I mean, keeping things between us a secret.”
She lifted her head. “You would agree to that, Aidan? I’m not talking about a few weeks or a few months. I’m talking about until I finish medical school. Could you really wait that long?”
That was a good question. Could he? Could he be around Jillian at family gatherings and pretend nothing was going on between them? And what about the physical distance between them? She wasn’t even sure what medical school she would attend. Her two top choices were Florida and New Orleans, both hundreds of miles away from Boston, Maine or North Carolina.
And what about his family and friends? Like Adrian, Aidan had quite a reputation around Harvard. What would his friends think when he suddenly stopped pursuing women? They would think he’d lost his ever-loving mind. But he didn’t care what anyone thought.
It didn’t matter. Wherever Jillian was, he would get to her, spend time with her and give her the support she needed to be the doctor she wanted to be.
What Jillian needed now more than anything was for him not to place any pressure on her. Her focus should be on completing the MCAT and not on anything else. Somehow he would handle the distance, he would handle his family and friends and their perceptions.
He held her gaze. “Yes, I can wait. No matter how long it takes, Jillian. Because you’re worth waiting for.”
Then he tugged her mouth down to his for another one of their ultrapassionate, mind-blowing kisses.
Chapter Ten (#u32952a97-9299-5e7c-9a22-abbb432addc1)
The present
“This is Captain Stewart Marcellus," a deep voice boomed through the intercom in Jillian’s cabin. “My crew and I would like to welcome you aboard the Princess Grandeur. For the next fourteen days we’ll cruise the Grand Mediterranean for your enjoyment. In an hour we’ll depart Barcelona for full days in Monte Carlo and Florence and two days in Rome. From there we’ll sail to Greece and Turkey. I invite you to join me tonight at the welcome party, which kicks off two weeks of fun.”
Jillian glanced around her cabin. A suite. This was something she definitely hadn’t paid for. She and Paige had planned to share a standard stateroom, definitely nothing as luxurious and spacious as what she’d been given. When she’d contacted the customer service desk to tell them about the mistake, she was told no mistake had been made and the suite was hers to enjoy.
No sooner had she ended the call than she’d received a delivery—a bouquet of beautiful mixed flowers and a bottle of chilled wine with a card that read, “Congratulations on finishing medical school. We are proud of you. Enjoy the cruise. You deserve it. Your family, The Westmorelands.”
Jillian eased down to sit on the side of the bed. Her family. She wondered what the Westmorelands would think if they knew the truth about her and Aidan. About the affair the two of them had carried on right under their noses for three years.
As she stood to shower and get dressed for tonight’s festivities, she couldn’t help remembering what that affair had been like after they’d confessed their love for each other. Aidan had understood and agreed that it was to be their secret. No one else was supposed to know—unless the two of them thought it was absolutely necessary.
The first year had been wonderful, in spite of how hard it had been to engage in a long-distance love affair. Even with Aidan’s busy schedule juggling dual residencies, he’d managed to fly to Laramie whenever he had a free weekend. And because their time together was scarce, he’d make it special. They would go out to dinner, see a movie, or if it was a weekend she needed to study, they would do that, too. There was no way she would have passed the MCAT the first time around without his help. She had applied to various medical schools and when she was notified of her acceptance into the one she wanted in New Orleans, Aidan had been the first person with whom she’d shared her good news. They had celebrated the next time he’d come to Laramie.
It was during that first year that they agreed to bring Ivy in on their secret. Otherwise, her roommate would have been worried when Jillian went missing because she was staying with Aidan at the hotel.
Jillian had fallen more and more in love with Aidan during that time. Although she’d had a lot to keep her busy, she missed him when they were apart. But he’d made up for it when he came to town. And even though they’d spent a lot of time in bed making love, their relationship wasn’t just about sex. However, she would have to say that the sex was off the chain, and the sexual tension between them was still so thick you could cut it with a knife. Ivy could attest to that and had teased Jillian about it all the time.
It was also during that first year that their control had been tested whenever they went home for holidays, weddings or baby christenings. She would be the first to admit she had felt jealous more than a few times when Aidan’s single male cousins, who assumed he was still a player on the prowl, would try setting him up with other women.
Everything had gone well between them as they moved into their second year together. Aidan had helped her relocate to New Orleans after she bid a teary goodbye to Ivy. Jillian leased a one-bedroom efficiency apartment not far from the hospital where she would be working. It was perfect for her needs, but lonely.
It was during the third year that it became harder for Aidan to get away. The hospitals demanded more of his time. And her telephone conversations with him had been reduced from nightly to three times a week. She could tell he was frustrated with the situation. More than once he’d commented that he wished she would have applied to a medical school closer to Maine or North Carolina.
Jillian tried to ignore his attitude but found that difficult to do. Although Aidan didn’t say so, deep down she knew the secrecy surrounding their affair was getting to him. It had begun to get to her, as well. And when it seemed Aidan was becoming distant, she knew she had to do something.
When Ivy came to visit Jillian in New Orleans one weekend, she talked to her best friend about the situation. Even now Jillian could remember that time as if it was yesterday...
* * *
“So, how is Aidan?" Ivy asked, after placing her order with their waitress.
Jillian had to fight back tears. “Not sure. We haven’t talked in a few days and the last time we did, we had an argument.”
Ivy raised a brow. “Another one?”
“Yes.” She’d told Ivy about their last argument. He’d wanted her to fly to Maine for the weekend for his birthday. She had been excited about doing so until she’d checked her calendar and discovered that was the same weekend of her clinicals. Something she could not miss. Instead of understanding, he’d gotten upset with her and because of his lack of understanding, she’d gotten upset with him. Their most recent argument had started because he told her his twin now knew about them. He’d gotten angry when she’d accused him of breaking his promise and telling Adrian. He’d explained that he didn’t have to tell his brother anything. He and his twin could detect each other’s moods and feelings sometimes.
“I’m tired of arguing with him, Ivy, and a part of me knows the reason our relationship is getting so strained.”
Ivy nodded. “Long-distance romances are hard to maintain, Jillian, and I’m sure the secrecy surrounding your affair isn’t helping.”
“Yes, I know, which is why I’ve made a few decisions.”
Ivy lifted a brow. “About what?”
Jillian drew in a deep breath. “I’ve decided to tell Pam about us. The secrecy has gone on long enough. I believe my sister will accept the fact that I’m now an adult and old enough to decide what I want to do in my life and the person I want in it.”
“Good for you.”
“Thanks. I know she’s been concerned about Aidan’s womanizing reputation, but once she realizes that I love him and he loves me, I believe she will give us her blessing.”
Jillian took a sip of her drink and continued, “But before I tell Pam, I’m flying to Maine to see Aidan. Next weekend is his birthday and I’ve decided to be there to help him celebrate.”
“What about your clinicals?”
Jillian smiled. “I went to my professor and told her I desperately needed that weekend off. She agreed to work with me and arrange for me to do a makeup the following weekend.”
“That was nice of her.”
“Yes, it was. She said I was a good student, the first to volunteer for projects and my overall attendance is great. So now I’m set to go.”
Ivy grinned. “Did you tell Aidan?”
“No. I’m going to surprise him. He mentioned that since I wouldn’t be there to celebrate with him that he would sign up to work that day and then hang around his place, watch TV and go to bed early.”
“On his birthday? That’s a bummer.”
“Yes, and that’s why I plan to fly there to help him celebrate.”
“You’re doing the right thing by being there. I think it’s wonderful that you’re finally letting your sister know about you and Aidan. When she sees how much he adores you she will be happy for the two of you.”
A huge smile touched Jillian’s lips. “I believe so, too.”
* * *
Jillian stepped out on the balcony to look at the ocean as she recalled what happened after that. She had been excited when she’d boarded the plane for Portland, Maine. She couldn’t wait to tell Aidan of her decision to end the secrecy surrounding their affair and to celebrate his birthday with him.
Due to stormy weather in Atlanta, her connecting flight had been delayed five solid hours and she didn’t arrive in Portland until six that evening. It had been another hour before she’d arrived at his apartment complex, anxious to use the door key he’d given her a year ago for the first time.
The moment she’d stepped off the elevator onto his floor she knew a party was going on in one of the apartments. Loud music blasted and boisterous voices made her ears ache. She hadn’t known all the noise was coming from Aidan’s apartment until she’d reached the door, which she didn’t have to unlock since it was slightly ajar.
Jillian walked in and looked around. The place was crowded and there were more women in attendance than men. The women were wearing outfits that probably wouldn’t be allowed out on the streets.
Jillian wondered what had happened to Aidan’s decision to come home from work, watch TV and go to bed. It seemed he’d decided to throw a party instead and it was in full swing. In the center of the room Aidan sat in a recliner while some scantily dressed woman gave him a lap dance. And from the look on his face, he was enjoying every single minute of it. Some of the guys on the sidelines, who she figured must be Aidan’s friends, were egging on both him and the woman, which prompted the woman to make the dance even more erotic.
When the woman began stripping off her clothes, starting with the barely-there strap of material covering her breasts, Jillian was shocked. She knew she’d seen enough when the woman’s breasts all but smothered Aidan’s face while she wiggled out of her panties.
Not able to watch any longer, a shaken Jillian had left, grateful Aidan hadn’t even noticed her presence. What hurt more than anything was that he’d appeared to be enjoying every single minute of the dance. Aidan Westmoreland had seemed in his element. She couldn’t help wondering if they had stopped with the dance or if he and the woman had ended up doing other things later.
When he’d called her a few days later he hadn’t mentioned anything about the party at his apartment and she hadn’t said anything about being there to witness what had gone on. And when she asked how he’d spent his birthday, he angered her even more when he gave her a smart aleck answer, asking, “Why do you care when you didn’t care enough to spend it with me?”
He was wrong. She had cared enough. But he hadn’t cared enough to tell her the truth. It was then that she’d made the decision to end things between them, since it was apparent that he missed his life as a womanizer. When he called later in the week and made another excuse for not flying to New Orleans to see her as he’d planned, she decided that would be a good time to break things off with him. She would give him his freedom, let him go back to the life he missed.
Deciding the less drama the better, she told him the secrecy of their affair was weighing her down, making her lose focus, and she couldn’t handle it any longer. She didn’t tell him the true reason she’d wanted to end things.
Her declaration led to a huge argument between them. When he told her he was flying to New Orleans to talk to her, she told him she didn’t want to see him. Then she ended the conversation.
He had called several times to talk to her but she’d refused to answer and eventually blocked his number. She knew that was the reason for the angry looks he’d given her when she’d attended the last couple of Westmoreland weddings. The last time she’d seen him was a few months ago at Stern’s ceremony.
There had been no reason to tell Pam about the affair that had been a secret for so long, so she hadn’t. The last thing Jillian needed was for her sister to remind her that just like a tiger couldn’t change its stripes neither could a womanizer change his ways.
It had been a year since their breakup. At times she felt she had moved on, but other times she felt she had not. It was so disappointing and painful to think about the future they could have been planning together now that she’d finished medical school, if only things had worked out the way she’d hoped they would.
Jillian wiped the tears from her eyes, refusing to shed any more for Aidan. She was on this cruise to have fun and enjoy herself, and she intended to do just that.
* * *
“Yes, Adrian?"
“I’m glad I was able to reach you before ship left port. I just want to wish you the best. I hope everything works out the way you want with Jill.”
Aidan hoped things worked out the way he wanted, as well. “Thanks.”
Like Paige, Adrian and Aidan’s cousin Stern had figured out something was going on between him and Jillian a couple of years ago. “I will do whatever I have to do to get her back. When this ship returns to port, my goal is to have convinced Jillian to give me another chance.”
“Well, Trinity and I are cheering for you.”
“Thanks, bro.” Trinity was Adrian’s fiancée and the two would be getting married in a couple of months.
After ending his phone call with Adrian, Aidan crossed the suite to step out on the balcony. Barcelona was beautiful. He had arrived three days ago and taken a tour of what was considered one of the busiest ports in the Mediterranean. He had eaten at the finest restaurants, some in magnificent buildings etched deep with history. He had walked through the crowded streets wishing Jillian had been by his side. Hopefully when they returned to this port in fourteen days she would be.
He could just imagine what Jillian had assumed when she’d seen that woman giving him a lap dance last year. He had worked that day, as he’d told her he would, but he hadn’t known about the surprise birthday party a few of his fraternity brothers had thrown for him.
And he definitely hadn’t known about the lap dancer or the other strippers they’d invited until the women arrived. He couldn’t get mad at his frat brothers for wanting to make his birthday kind of wild. All they knew was that for the past few years, the man who’d once been one of the biggest womanizers in Boston had taken a sabbatical from women. They’d had no idea that the reason for his seemingly boring lifestyle was because he was involved in a secret affair with Jillian.
So, thinking he’d been working too hard for too long and hadn’t gotten in any play time, they thought they were doing him a favor. He would admit that after a few drinks he’d loosened up. But at no time had he forgotten he was in love with Jillian. The lap dance had been just for fun, and after the party all the women had left.
Yes, he’d made a mistake by not mentioning the party to Jillian. And he would be the first to admit his attitude had been less than desirable for the last year of their relationship. But he knew why. He’d had the best of intentions when he thought he could keep their secret without any problems, but as time went on, he’d become impatient. While she hadn’t wanted anyone to know about them, he had wanted to shout the truth from the highest mountain.
It hadn’t helped matters when some of his siblings and cousins began falling in love and getting married. It seemed as if an epidemic had hit Westmoreland Country when five of his relatives got married in a two-year period. And some had been relatives he’d thought would never marry. It had been hard being around his happily married kinfolk without wanting to have some of that happiness for himself. He would admit he’d spent too many months angry with himself, with Jillian, with the world. But at no time did he doubt his love for her.
Nothing had changed his feelings. He was still in love with her, which was why he was here. To right a wrong and convince her that she was the only woman he wanted.
He knew he had his work cut out for him. But he intended to stay the course and not fail in his task. She wouldn’t appreciate seeing him and she probably wouldn’t like it when she found out about Paige’s involvement. Or Ivy’s for that matter. If Ivy hadn’t told Paige the truth, he would still be angry, thinking the reason Jillian had broken up with him was because they were at odds regarding the secret of their affair.
He went back inside when he heard the cabin phone ring. He picked it up. “Yes?”
“I hope you find your quarters satisfactory.”
Aidan smiled. That was an understatement. “It’s more than satisfactory, Dominic.”
This ship was just one of many in a fleet owned by Dominic Saxon. Dominic was married to the former Taylor Steele, whose sister Cheyenne was married to Aidan’s cousin, Quade Westmoreland. Once Aidan discovered Jillian had booked her cruise on one of Dominic’s ships, his friend had been all too eager to assist Aidan in getting back the woman he loved. Years ago Dominic had found himself in a similar situation.
