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‘Good. That’s just right. And did I tell you that you should always wear blue?’
She smiled at him, shaking her head, holding his eyes in a too-long glance. But it didn’t matter, because he was making love to her: not the physical love she wanted so much to share with him; but with every look, every touch, every carefully chosen word, he made her love him a little more, and knew it was the same for him.
‘When we meet again – if it’s still summer – I shall wear this dress for you.’
‘It will still be summer, Julia. Soon, I shall have a week’s leave of absence. I have no close family to spend it with, so I could well come to –’
‘To York!’ she supplied, joyously. ‘I could meet you there – I’m sure I could. When will it be?’
‘In June. The second or third week.’
‘And you’ll come? You won’t change your mind?’ Her cheeks flushed hotly, a small, happy pulse beat at her throat. ‘I – I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t.’
‘I shall come. Only if my employers at the hospital decide otherwise will I not be there.’
‘And you would write and let me know if you couldn’t – write to Hawthorn, that is?’
‘I would let you know.’ They had stopped walking now, because the park gates were only a few steps away and each was reluctant to walk through them.
‘Andrew – you will try to make Aunt Sutton’s acquaintance? You’ve got to agree it would help?’
‘I don’t know, lassie. I’d like fine to meet your aunt, but if I don’t – well, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Because it’s a big world we both live in, though you’ve seen precious little of it from inside your safe, sedate walls. But nothing can change these last few days. You know it and I know it. There’ll be a way,’ he said comfortably, confidently. ‘We’ll find it, between us.’
‘Andrew,’ she whispered, ‘we’re almost back and Hawthorn will be hovering and we mightn’t get the chance, so –’
‘So will you stop your chatter, lovely lassie, for just long enough for me to tell you I love you?’
‘I will. Oh, I will …’
‘Mind, I don’t know what’s come over me,’ he said softly, shaking his head at his own foolishness, ‘for I’d got my life all mapped out and everything in its place, and there was no place in it for a wife – not just yet. And now look at me.’
‘I’m looking. And I love what I see,’ she laughed. ‘And we’d better go and eat Hawthorn’s scones or she’ll have the constabulary out looking for me … It is true, isn’t it? And you will come to York?’
‘Aye. And I’ll leave my card at your aunt’s house.’
‘Then there isn’t any more to be said, is there?’ she whispered. ‘Except that I wish you would kiss me goodbye, when you leave.’
‘I will,’ he smiled. ‘Be sure, I will …’
5 (#ulink_4914dd80-b362-54bd-bc6b-b515e2c8b64d)
He had kissed her, Julia thought dully, when he left Aunt Sutton’s. When she had begged Hawthorn with her eyes not to come to the door with them, he had cupped her face in his hands and laid his lips softly to the bruise on her forehead. Then he had kissed her mouth, softly, tenderly, lingering his lips on hers as if claiming them for his own.
Now this train was taking her from him. With every minute it was pulling them further apart. Soon they would reach York, then take the little slow train to Holdenby where the carriage would be waiting. They would be more than two hundred miles apart. Half a day apart.
‘Don’t be sad, miss. We had a lovely time. If you’re sad, her ladyship’s going to think the holiday has done you no good at all. Drink up your wine now.’ Aunt Sutton had given them wine for the journey; sweet, local wine from the Camargue.
‘Come again soon,’ she had said heartily. ‘Come when I’m at home, both of you, and I’ll show you a London you’d never have thought existed.’
Both of you, Alice had particularly noted, and it pleased her because she had liked Aunt Sutton the minute they met. And she couldn’t, Alice thought guiltily, be sad. Not for a minute, for, wonderful as London had been, soon she would see Tom, would run to his arms and tell him how she had missed him – after they had kissed …
‘I don’t believe it happened, Hawthorn; not any of it.’
‘It happened.’ Gently Alice laid a fingertip to a bruise, now shading paler and fading to yellow at the edges. ‘And miss, remember that night – the two white wishinghorses?’ Since the stop at Darlington they were the only occupants of the compartment and to talk was easier. ‘A wish each, we had …’
‘I remember.’ The smallest smile tilted the corners of Julia’s mouth.
‘Well, I can tell you mine now, ’cos it’s come true. I wished you could find someone like I’d found Tom – and you did. That very night, you did.’
‘Then white-horse wishes must be powerful stuff, because I wished for much the same thing.’
‘There now. You should go and tell it to the rooks when we’re back, miss. I always tell them. Share your secrets with those old rooks and they’ll keep them safe. And you can tell them when you’re unhappy, an’ all. Don’t think they can do a lot about unhappiness, but it helps to tell them.’
‘You won’t say anything, Hawthorn – not at home, I mean? Not until I’ve got used to it all – sorted myself out?’
‘You know I won’t. Not a word. When they’re talking about your eye in the kitchen, I shall tell them what we said it would be. And I’ll wish like anything I don’t get a letter from London, ’cos that would mean he wouldn’t be coming on holiday.’ And goodness only knew how she’d take it. She’d set her hopes on York, Miss Julia had. ‘Oh, can’t you tell her ladyship? She’d understand, I know she would, and then there needn’t be any lies and always having to watch what we say.’
‘I can’t, just yet. I couldn’t risk a refusal. She could well be angry, you know. I’ve broken all the rules.’
‘Which rules?’ There were no rules about falling in love. It happened, and there was nothing anybody could do about it, thanks be.
‘Our rules. There’s a way of doing things for us that’s simply got to be, and one of the things you don’t do is go against convention. I did. I went sneaking off like a scullery maid to meet him – oh, I’m sorry, Hawthorn, I didn’t mean to sound arrogant, I truly didn’t. But I ran after him. I knew exactly what I was doing and I didn’t care. No lady does that, does she? You didn’t.’
‘We-e-ll – not running as such. But I always made sure to take Morgan out reg’lar, before servants’ teatime. And once I went as bold as brass to the rearing field, ’cos I knew he’d be there. And I acted all surprised, like, though I’m glad I did it. That was the night he walked me back and asked me to be his girl, so don’t take on about what you did, Miss Julia. Men need a helping hand, sometimes, and you didn’t have a lot of choice – not with only three days left.
‘But your mother is a lovely lady, and you told me, didn’t you, that her and Sir John were secretly in love ever before they were matched. She’d understand. She would.’
‘A young doctor without expectations? Hardly to be compared with Pa.’
‘But they were in love,’ Alice insisted, ‘and love’s a powerful thing – stronger than white-horse wishes.’
‘No. I can’t tell her yet. Wait until Andrew has left his card at Aunt Sutton’s. By the time he visits York she might have received him and I can tell Mama more then. But I’ve got to drop it in bits, sort of. Just a hint here and a word there, so that when it all comes out she’ll look back and realize I hadn’t been deceitful – well, not exactly.’
‘But that isn’t the way it should be.’ Stubbornly, Alice held her ground.
‘I know. After that first time in the park I was so excited that I needed everyone to know. I wanted to climb Holdenby Pike and shout it into the wind. But it’s gone too far between us and I’m afraid to lose him. So you won’t tell? Not even Tom?’
‘No one. Cross my heart.’
‘Well, then,’ Julia drained her glass. ‘We’d better get our things together.’
The train was slowing now, and from the window the towers of the Minster could be distantly seen. Soon they would be at Rowangarth, and telling everyone what a fine time they had had – and watching every word they said.
Alice folded the napkins, carefully wrapping them around the glasses, fastening the hamper, mentally checking the hatbox and travelling bag on the rack, remembering there were four cases in the luggage van and a porter to be found to put them on the Holdenby train that left at three o’clock. And Tom, she thought blissfully, was little more than an hour away.
‘I wasn’t fast, was I, Hawthorn?’ Julia asked anxiously as the little stopping train clanked and shuddered out of York station. ‘I mean, I wasn’t forward or anything? You do think Andrew will get in touch? He won’t think I’ve been a bit – well – unladylike …’
‘No, miss. You weren’t unladylike – not a bit; leastways, not when I was there, so don’t keep on worrying about it.’
‘But I was a little bit – eager. I know I ought to have refused, when first he asked me to walk in the park – a lady always should say no, the first time she’s asked. And I shouldn’t have gone to his lodgings, either. But we didn’t have a lot of time …’
‘Not a lot. Did he kiss you?’ Alice demanded, amazed at her daring. ‘Was it nice?’
‘He did, and it was nicer than nice. He kissed me twice.’ Julia closed her eyes, remembering. ‘A little one, then one that made me – oh –’
‘Feel peculiar all over? I know.’ Alice, too, closed her eyes.
‘And you’re sure he’ll come to York to see me?’
‘Sure as anyone can be,’ Alice comforted. ‘And just to be certain, you’d better watch out for another white horse, and let the rooks know about it, an’ all. Best to make sure.’
‘I will. I will.’
There was a warning hoot from the driver as the train swayed over a level crossing and took them on to Rowangarth land, then the hissing of wheels on steel took on a heavier note as the train met the gradient that wound upward through Brattocks Wood.
‘Hawthorn, look!’
Standing beneath the trees at the edge of the track, a gun dog squatting at his feet, stood the under-keeper. Knowing the time of their train and that it would lose speed at the wood, Tom was waiting to see it pass.
Only a glimpse, but he had been there and Alice knew, in that moment, how much she had missed him; wondered how she could ever have been so foolish as to leave him for a day, let alone two weeks. And then she blushed for shame, because soon she would be with him, and sitting opposite was poor Miss Julia, sad and worried in case she never saw her young man again.
‘Oh, miss – you’ll see him again. You will.’
Giles Sutton looked up, smiling, as Alice peeped round the library door and Morgan, tired of the hearth rug, gave a yelp of delight and skidded across the floor, tail wagging furiously.
‘Hawthorn! You’re back. I’ve missed you; we’ve both missed you!’
‘And I’ve missed you and Morgan and Rowangarth and, oh, everyone, even though London was like a fairy story. And I’m come to say I’m sorry that I can’t take Morgan for his run, ’cos I haven’t finished Miss Julia’s unpacking and it’s almost teatime. But I’ll take him tonight, if that’s all right with you, Mr Giles.’
‘It is, and I’ll be grateful, because I’m dining out tonight. Did you have a good time?’
‘Oh, yes. You wouldn’t believe the half of what I saw. There was –’ She stopped, cheeks pink. ‘But you would believe it. You’ve been before, ever so many times.’
‘Too many times. Rowangarth is where I like to be.’
‘I know, sir.’ She did know. It had tingled through her from head to toes, that feeling of homecoming. ‘But I’ll see that Morgan gets his run tonight, after dinner’s over and done with.’
She bent to stroke the spaniel’s head and he whimpered softly, reaching to lick her cheek.
‘Silly old thing.’ She laughed, bobbing a curtsey to Giles Sutton: not that he would expect it, but because it was right for all that, and because she was grateful, perhaps, that he understood her need to find an excuse to be in Brattocks Wood tonight. ‘Oh, and Cook says I’m to tell you that Mary has just taken tea up to her ladyship.’
Closing the door behind her she hugged herself tightly. Home, to Rowangarth, and servants’ tea at four o’clock and kitchen chatter and plum jam and seed cake. And tonight he would be waiting: Tom, who loved her.
‘How on earth did you get that?’ Laughing, Giles Sutton contemplated his sister’s face.
‘Through not minding my own business, I suppose. Does it look awful?’
‘Absolutely terrible. How could you have –’
‘Your sister could, and did. Apparently, there was a fracas in Hyde Park and Julia joined in.’
‘Mama! I told you! There was a suffragette selling news-sheets and a young woman – she was so pale and thin, Giles, and had a little one in her arms – well, all she did was buy a news-sheet and a policeman told her to move on – the suffragette, I mean – and he started pushing the young woman.’
‘And your sister charged to her aid – and in a hobble skirt, would you believe – and tripped, and hit her head.’
‘Yes, and Hawthorn told the policeman off, then demanded he find a doctor –’
‘And it just so happened that a doctor was taking a stroll in the park,’ Helen Sutton supplied, trying hard not to smile.
‘The luck of the Suttons,’ Giles grinned.
‘He was very kind to me.’ Julia’s cheeks blazed. ‘Told me I wasn’t badly hurt and that if I suddenly felt ill I was to call Aunt Sutton’s doctor and – and Hawthorn looked after me.’ There, now, she hadn’t told any lies – not actual lies … ‘And please don’t tease, because it did hurt, at the time.’
‘Not another word, Sis. And would you mind not eating all the sandwiches …?’
‘Hobble skirts,’ said Alice at servants’ tea. ‘That’s what did it, Bess. Miss Julia goes striding out, all angry with that fat policeman I told you about, and forgets you don’t stride, exactly, in a hobble skirt. Next thing you know there’s the most awful bang –’ She paused to collect her thoughts, painstakingly jamming her bread.
‘Where?’ Bess demanded.
‘On her head, of course.’
‘Where in London, I mean.’
‘Hyde Park, it was. Beautiful, Hyde Park is.’ Change the subject, Alice. They’ve had all they’re going to get about that black eye. ‘Just beautiful. Like a bit of the country, right in the middle of London.’
‘And was there blood?’ Tilda demanded, wide-eyed. ‘Did she knock herself out cold?’
‘She felt a bit groggy, for a time,’ Alice admitted reluctantly, ‘but luckily there was a doctor handy and he took care of her.’
‘Ooh. Was he young and dark and handsome, and –’
‘No, Tilda, he was a doctor, that’s all, and he said she wasn’t badly hurt, though she’d likely have a headache in the morning, and a black eye – which she did.
‘Still, Miss Julia knows now not to go telling policemen off in a hobble skirt. We went on the Underground railway, an’ all.’ Talk about other things. ‘Imagine – trains hurtling about, underneath London. You could be walking down Oxford Street, and for all you knew there could be a rushing train beneath your feet.’
‘If you ask me, Hyde Park is near where they have meetings. Speakers Corner, I believe they call it,’ Mrs Shaw, offered. ‘I did once hear there was a raving lunatic there, saying all manner of things about the King – King Edward, God rest him – and as how the monarchy was all lazy and overfed and should be deported to Australia and the money they cost us given to the poor.’
‘I believe London folk go to Speakers Corner just for fun,’ Alice nodded. ‘Seems you can say almost what you want there, and get away with it.’
‘’Cept if you’re one of them suffragette women. Illegal those meetings are now, and so they should be – women making a show of themselves in public. Ought to be ashamed of themselves.’
‘Ashamed,’ Alice echoed, eyes on her plate. ‘But we didn’t see any of them. And we didn’t see the King nor the Queen, neither, though we saw their palace.’
‘What’s it like?’
‘Big, but not half as nice as Rowangarth – well, not from the front.’ Alice held out her plate as Mrs Shaw dispensed seed cake. ‘Though I heard it said they’ve got a garden at the back.’
‘You should’ve put raw steak on that eye,’ Tilda grumbled. ‘And on her forehead.’
