Too Much At Stake

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Not Jack. He stood up, looked his father in the eye and said, ‘You’d better sit down. We’ve got Ed on the webcam.’

He nodded, glad that he’d be able to talk to his other son at last, and sat down opposite the laptop on the coffee table, with Jack and Lucy across from him, visible over the top. So he could see them all, and they could all see him. It was like an interview panel, he thought. Or a jury.

I swear by Almighty God…

‘Dad.’

He glanced down at Edward, his face moving a little jerkily but still very recognisable.

‘I’ve been trying to ring you,’ Nick told him.

‘I know. I didn’t answer because I don’t know what to say to you,’ Ed told him, his voice puzzled and hurt. ‘I can’t believe it—what the hell were you thinking of?’

Nick sighed and ran a hand through his hair. ‘There’s nothing I can say or do to change what happened, and I’m not going to make excuses,’ he told them all, ‘but I meant my vows to your mother, Edward, and I swear it was the only time.’

I swear by Almighty God…

‘It’s not that. That’s between the two of you. I just hope she never knew. It’s him I’m thinking about, a boy who thought for years that his father was dead when you could have been taking an active role in his life. Sure, it would have hurt Mum, but we were grown up, it was none of our business, and we could have spent time with him and made him feel wanted. That’s what’s so gutting, that he didn’t have any brothers or sisters there for him when we could have been, so easily.’

Nick shook his head. ‘I didn’t know. It was Kate’s decision not to tell me, and she made it for good reasons. Wrong ones, maybe, but still out of consideration for everyone involved, and there weren’t any right ones—’

‘Don’t palm it off on Kate. You’ve known for two years,’ Jack retorted, cutting in. ‘That’s two lost years he could have had a father. You should have said something sooner, Dad.’

‘How?’ he asked. ‘And when? She was with someone all last year, and she’s been ill. You know that. She’s had breast cancer. We could hardly tell him then, could we, with his life in turmoil and another man there ready and willing to act as his father? And before then, well, I guess I was still coming to terms with it—still in denial. I’m sorry you’re so angry with us, but the only person I can worry about at the moment is your little brother, and I’m afraid he’s taking all my time and thoughts right now.’